Save Me From Myself
by Erizabesu765
Summary: Kathleen was always the problem child, the one in trouble, the one he worried about, and, while a lot had changed since he put in his papers, that never did. After his daughter's relationship takes a sinister turn, Elliot returns to SVU to ask for help from the person he trusts the most. Will Olivia be able to overlook the past in order to help her old friend in his time of need?
1. Chapter 1

**Almost eight years have gone by since Elliot and Olivia last saw each other, and while a lot has changed, it's clear that their love for one another never went away. Elliot returns to SVU with a problem that is so close to his, only his oldest friend Olivia can be trusted with it. Will the old partners be able to navigate their complicated past in order to work together in the present? Elliot continues to battles with the same issues of rage that he always did, while Olivia still struggles to move past the betrayal of being abandoned all those years ago. Will they be able to move past their respective demons in order to save someone they both care about before tragedy strikes?**

**Please enjoy. Please review. **

* * *

Olivia sat in her office with Chief William Dodds. Although she still found him to be overbearing at times, she had come to like and respect the man. While their meetings were no longer the chore that they used to be, she still found them unnecessarily bureaucratic. As Dodds sat and spoke of efficiency and public image, all Olivia could think about was being in the field - doing _real _policing. As she drifted into her thoughts, a knock came from the door, a welcomed interruption. 'Hey Lieutenant, sorry to disturb but there's a guy out here demanding he sees you.'

'You know the drill Carisi…' As dull as her administrative meetings with Dodds could be, dealing with a disgruntled member of the public wasn't much better.

'I know, I know, it's just this guy is pretty loud and pretty insistent. I don't think he's going anywhere. He asked for you by name. He said to tell you something like, _sempre fi?_' Carisi's face was crinkled with confusion at the Latin term. 'Whatever that means.'

Eliott, she thought. That's what that means. Elliot.

'I'm sorry Chief, you'll have to excuse me. I need to go handle this.' Olivia said, standing up from behind her desk.

'Is everything okay, Lieutenant?' Asked Dodds. He must have noticed the uncertainty in her gaze.

'Absolutely perfect.' She said sarcastically through a forced smile.

* * *

'I'm not leaving until I speak to Olivia Benson.' His familiar voice echoed through the room until it hit her. It was aggressive but strangely comforting.

There he was, Elliot Stabler. Looking at him, she thought she was okay, she thought she could handle it… Until he looked back at her, leaving her instantly paralysed. Their eyes locked in on one another. It was one of those stares consumed the room, that created its own peace and silence, that turned chaos into white noise. Just for a second, she forgot that she was supposed to be angry with him and allowed a smile to creep across her face. It was involuntary, she had missed him indescribably and she was happy to see him. She wondered if he felt the same as he reciprocated with a smile back.

'Olivia,' said the voice of her former partner.

It acted as a wake-up call for her as she remembered what he did and where they were. They were in the middle of the squad room, with an audience of confused faces. As she regained awareness of the situation, he paralysis faded. She marched towards him and forcefully grabbed his arm before guiding him into an interrogation room for some privacy, fearing that Dodds may still be in her office.

She pushed him through the door, and before it could close behind them she began her rant.

* * *

'What the hell Elliot? I don't hear from you in what, seven years? And then you come into my squad room demanding to see me. That is not how this works.' She was furious. She couldn't believe the audacity. Did he really expect to just walk back into her life as though nothing had happened? The thought of him just picking her up and dropping her when it was convenient for him enraged her.

'Look I know, I know. And I'm sorry.'

'You're sorry? For what exactly? For leaving me? For not saying goodbye? For not picking up the phone once in seven years? Or for coming back here today?' She continued her impassioned speech as she paced back and forth in front of him. The words _I'm sorry _were simply too little, too late. Too much time had passed and too much had happened for such a casual apology to resonate with her.

'I'm sorry for it all, Liv. Truly.' He pulled out a chair and sat down. They had spent so much time within these four walls over the years. He leant forward with his head in his hands. She recognised the scene. He had spent many nights at the desk opposite her brooding with his head in his hands. It was never a good sign. It was often the final warning before the turmoil inside him began to spill over into his real life. That's when she noticed the fresh wounds on his knuckles. It looked like whatever demons he was battling this time had already taken hold of him.

'Elliot, your hands…' As Olivia reached for them he sat up and hid his hands under the table. What had he done?

'I know I have no right to come back here, and I know I have no right to ask, but I need your help, Liv.' He looked at her, his eyes pleading. He was too proud to beg, but his eyes conveyed the desperation that his voice couldn't. 'Trust me, I wouldn't be here if I thought there was another way… Please, just hear me out?'

He looked at her with his broken stare, the one that she found impossible to ignore. She knew she couldn't turn her back on him, even if she wanted to. The trouble was, she still loved him, even after all these years.

* * *

'When did this place turn into a time machine?' Joked Finn, as he walked into the squad room having returned from lunch.

'What?' Questioned Carisi, puzzled by the comment.

'That's like a window into 2011.' He said, gesturing at the interrogation room.

'You know that guy?' Asked Rollins.

'Who is he, an ex or something?' Said Carisi. It was clear that both Rollins and Carisi had been speculating over the identity of the hot-headed man since Olivia had dragged him away.

'Not quite.' Answered Finn. 'That's her old partner.'

'The notorious Elliot Stabler,' came a voice from behind them. Dodds had surfaced from Olivia's office and was only too happy to share his opinion. 'Fantastic detective from what I remember, but a limited human being if I'm not mistaken.'

'Maybe he wasn't a people person, but he cared more than most Chief,' interjected Finn, defending his old friend. 'That was his real problem - sometimes he cared too much.'

'It all caught up with him in the end though didn't it? I heard about the shooting that happened in here. That was a real tragedy.' Dodds' tone annoyed Finn. He didn't know Elliot Stabler and he didn't know the events that unfolded that day, because if he did, he'd know the word _tragedy _didn't come close to covering it.

'That it was,' replied Finn with a hint of irony. He wasn't in the mood for an argument.

* * *

Even though she was still angry, she couldn't help but be concerned. In front of her was the man she loved, asking for her help. Who was she not to at least hear what he had to say? She took a seat opposite him.

'What do you want Elliot? Why did you come back here?' She didn't mean for it to sound as cold as it did.

'It's Kathleen. She's in trouble.'

'She always was,' Olivia joked, cautiously. She had a feeling the conversation was going to take a dark turn, and she wasn't wrong.

'Yeah,' agreed Elliot, nodding his head and sighing. 'Except, this time it's bad. I think she could be in some real trouble.' There was genuine concern in his tone. 'She's shacked up with this dirtbag, and I know he's hitting her. Every time I see her she's got a new bruise or scar accompanied with a new excuse. And today when I went round to check on her, she had a freshly broken nose and a black eye to match. She said she fell on a night out with the girls.' Elliot looked up at Olivia for back up. 'Because we've never heard that line before.'

Olivia nodded in agreement that her explanation was an obvious lie.

'I could see it in her face that she was scared. So I told her it was okay and that I could help her and that she didn't need to be scared anymore.' This was the side of Elliot that she loved, the loving father, the family man, the side that no one at the precinct got to see… No one but her. 'She was just starting to open up to me when that dirtbag came home. As soon as he walked through the door she froze. You know the way they do… We've seen it a thousand times.'

'Let me guess, that's when you decided to administer a little rough justice' she said, reaching for his hands which he had taken out of hiding at some point. She held his hands in hers, still raw from the punches he'd thrown. 'You know me, hit first, ask questions later,' he began to joke until he saw Olivia's look of disapproval.

* * *

'You sure they were just partners?' Queried Rollins, picking up on the intimacy of the interrogation room.

'Funny you should say that. Their partnership is still one of SVU's biggest mysteries,' said Finn, in jest - except he wasn't entirely joking. Carisi, Dodds and Rollins all looked at him, like vultures, eager to find out more. 'A room full of detectives but we never cracked that case.'

The truth was, Elliot and Olivia had struggled as much as their peers to define their relationship.

* * *

'I just lost it. She's still one of my babies, I don't care how grown up she thinks she is, she'll always be one of my babies.' Olivia squeezed his hands as if to say _it's okay, I understand. _'When I saw him I hit him. And I kept hitting him. And after that its a blur. I got caught up in the moment, yunno, the way I do. I just remember her screaming for me to stop.' He paused with a sigh of regret. 'When I snapped out of it her face was full of terror. She said I was only making it worse and begged for me to go, so I did.'

Any animosity Olivia felt towards him had been replaced with sympathy. 'What can I do to help?'

'I was hoping you could go round there? Yunno, scare him a little.' Olivia's face was sceptical, she was tough but no more intimidating than Elliot - he'd always been the forceful one in the partnership. What difference could she make? 'I might be her old man and I might have beat the shit outta him, but for guys like this, nothing's scarier than the flash of a shiny NYPD badge,' Elliot reassured her.

'Is Kathleen willing to put in a complaint?' Asked Olivia.

'She's scared and confused. Last time I spoke to her she was still making excuses for the guy.'

'You know I can't do anything until she makes a complaint? The Chief watches me like a hawk as it is,' she said, gesturing out to the squad room where she new Dodds would be stood, predictably watching.

'I know it's a lot to ask.' He paused, before looking directly at her, once again talking through his eyes not his words. 'I'm sorry to put this on you and I'm sorry for everything I have put you through - but I'm desperate. I'm her father. It's my job to protect her, but for the first time, I'm not sure if I'm up to the task. I'm terrified of losing her and I don't know what to do. So I'm here, asking for a favour from an old friend.' Neither of them could believe the honest nor the raw emotion in Elliot's speech.

'I think that's the most you've ever said to me,' said Olivia, breaking the silence that was becoming uncomfortably long. Elliot forced out a small smile, acknowledging what she meant by that comment.

She wanted to help him, but her hands were tied. She was a lieutenant now. Her scope to make reckless decisions was much narrower than it used to be. She looked at him then but thought of her team and Dodds, who she could feel were watching from the squad room. Her loyalties were split between her head and her heart, between what was smart and what she knew was right.

'Can you help me, Liv?'

She didn't answer straight away. She needed to think, but before she could vocalise her conflicted thoughts an impatient Elliot had begun to pull away. He pulled his hands out from under her's and began to stand. Her hesitation had unsettled him. All his cards were on the table and it left him more vulnerable than he was comfortable with. When he admitted that he needed to be rescued, he expected her to jump in and save him immediately. When she didn't, he made his own assumptions about her answer to his plight.

'You were right, I shouldn't have come here. This was a mistake.' He said, standing tall, looking down at her. Any weaknesses he had revealed just minutes earlier were now completely hidden from view.

'Elliot. This is complicated,' said Olivia, now also on her feet.

'What am I supposed to do, Liv? Wait until he kills her? You know how quickly these things can escalate.' He made his way for the door, placed his battered hand on the handle, but before turning it he looked back at her once more. 'I thought that if anyone would help me, it'd be you. I guess I was wrong.' His parting words sprinkled salt in the wounds that had reopened the second she saw him.

'Elliot, wait,' she said reaching for his arm, grabbing it and attempting to pull him back to safety. While she didn't know what his next move could be, she knew that in this mood he was a danger to himself and anyone that got in his way.

If looks could kill she'd have fallen to the floor right then and there. As he turned his head to face her, there were flames in his eyes. He shot her daggers before violently snatching his arm back. 'It's fine Liv. I'll handle this myself.' He said before exiting through the squad room and leaving her, stood in the doorway of the room where she had mourned losing him the last time he walked away from her.

_That's exactly what I'm worried about_, she thought to herself.

**I hope Chapter 1 was as much of a pleasure read as it was to write. Feedback is always appreciated. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A****s Kathleen's situation becomes more concerning, ****Olivia is forced to choose between the loyalties she has to her old partner and the responsibilities she owes to her squad and the job. What will happen as Kathleen's boyfriend becomes increasingly violent and unpredictable? Will Elliot and Olivia be able to come up with a solution before its too late? **

**[Warning: Contains Domestic Violence] **

**Feedback, as always, is greatly appreciated.**

* * *

The moment felt as though it was over in a flash. One second he was there, and the next he was gone. She could feel the eyes of her team watching her so she muted her reaction to avoid any judgement. In reality, all she wanted to do was scream, because watching him leave the way he did had ripped her heart from her chest. Blood flowing, pulse racing, she stood there knowing that if she let the man she loved walk out of her life again the consequences would be even greater than the last time.

She needed to go after him.

She hastily moved to her office, grabbed her jacket and made her way through the squad room in pursuit of Elliot. 'I need a little time, you guys can hold the fort while I'm gone, right?' Olivia's question wasn't so much aimed at anyone in particular, more aimed at anyone that would give her the answer she needed.

'We've got you covered' said Finn, interjecting before Dodds could say anything. She smiled at him in return, Finn had always had her back.

'Lieutenant Benson?' Yelled Dodds, clearly disapproving at her decision to drop her responsibilities.

'I'm sorry. I'll explain later Chief,' she yelled back, already halfway out of the door.

'It better be a damn good explanation,' muttered Dodds, under his breath.

* * *

By the time Olivia had reached the street Elliot was already a dot in the distance. When that man was on a mission there was no slowing him down. She sprinted after him, shouting his name. 'Elliot, wait! Elliot, please!'

She impressed herself with her own athletic ability in catching up to him as quickly as she did.

'Do not follow me Liv.' He shouted, without even flinching as he continued to march his path of destruction. Soon they reached a familiar looking vehicle. It was Elliot's old car. _Of course, he still drove the same car_, she thought. He had always been a creature of habit. As he got into his car it was clear that he wasn't going to acknowledge her anytime soon, so she did the only thing that made sense to her at the time. She got into the passenger's side.

'What the hell are you doing?' He said, looking at her, steam coming out of his flared nostrils.

'You need to listen to me, Ell...'

'Get out of the car Liv,' he said aggressively cutting her off.

'Listen!' She too could be forceful if she wanted to. 'I didn't say I wouldn't help you. I said it was complicated. That doesn't mean I won't help Elliot. If you had given me a chance to explain before you...' She was about to criticise him when she stopped herself. Elliot leant his head onto the steering wheel in front of him. She wasn't sure if it was stress or relief, or maybe a mixture of the two, but whatever it was the man was clearly going through enough without being verbally attacked.

She softly placed her hand on his back before giving it a tender rub. 'Why don't we go somewhere and talk?' Asked Olivia, attempting to rebuild bridges.

He looked at her and nodded.

* * *

After she practically forced Elliot out of the door, Kathleen spent the rest of her morning cleaning up her boyfriend and apologising for her father's actions. Even though she hadn't said anything, she knew that Tommy would blame her for the events of that morning.

As Kathleen treated his final wound, Tommy began his interrogation right on schedule. 'So are we going to talk about what you said to him, Katy?' When she first met him, she liked that he called her Katy - it was different and fun. If Kathleen was just daddy's little girl, she thought Katy could be a sexy, independent woman. However, now she realised that her name was just the first of many ways that Tommy changed her. Over the past six months, Tommy had slowly chipped away at her character until she became what she was now, an empty shell.

'I didn't say anything, I promise,' she grovelled.

'I don't believe you. What have I told you about honesty and trust, Katy?' Tommy was especially gifted at manipulating his flaws into becoming Kathleen's. 'If I can't trust you, how is this supposed to work? God knows I try my best, but dammit you always have to test me don't you,' he said, raising his voice. He had an unbelievable talent for making her feel guilty for his mistakes.

'I promise, Tommy. I didn't say a word,' mumbled Kathleen, avoiding all eye contact.

Tommy, sensing her fear, grabbed a hold of her chin and lifted her head to look at him before repeating the words: 'I. Don't. Believe. You.' It was even louder this time. Though he had lifted her face to look at him, she still attempted to avoid eye contact. Her non-compliance angered Tommy who cruelly spat in her face.

Kathleen had been in this situation before, she knew what happened next. So, she ran, up the stairs, into the bathroom and locked the door. This room had become a regular hiding place for her. She was still unsure whether the four walls acted as a safe space or a prison cell, but either way, they kept her secluded from any unwanted visitors.

* * *

He pulled up outside the diner they had frequented as partners. Of all the diners in the city, why did he have to choose this one? Olivia wasn't sure if she was ready for a trip down memory lane.

'Wow. I can't believe this place is still open,' she joked. The coffee had always been less than average, but it was their special place and they strangely liked it.

'Neither,' said Elliot in agreement.

'I haven't been back here since…' She wanted to say _since you left me _or _since you abandoned me, _but instead, she opted not to finish her sentence. That was a sentence that she would finish at a later date, at another time, with a different agenda.

'Neither,' affirmed Elliot. Maybe it was just as strange for him as it was for her. 'I know we have a lot of things to talk about Liv…'

'They can wait,' she reassured him. She had a thousand questions to ask, but they weren't important right now. Her and Elliot weren't the priority, Kathleen was. He looked at her before taking her hand in his and squeezing it gently as if to say _thank you_. 'I wonder if their coffee is still as bad as it used to be,' she said, raising her eyebrow and using her humour to hide behind.

Elliot sniggered. Olivia was glad to see the lighter side of him again, even if it was only for a second.

* * *

Like clockwork, a light knocking at the door commenced. 'Look, Katy, I just want to talk. Come on, unlock the door, baby… Please.' Tommy was incredibly good at playing the nice guy when the situation required it. He would be so tender and sweet that Kathleen would almost forget about the animal he could become. That was until she looked in the mirror, where a very visible reminder would usually stare back at her.

'Just give me a minute, Tommy, please.'

'Katy...' He whined. Sometimes his tone of voice would become so pathetic that Kathleen would begin to feel sorry for him. How twisted her world had become at the hands of her manipulative boyfriend.

'Let me just freshen up. I'll be out in a minute,' she said, buying time. The trouble was that Tommy was no fool, and she was almost certain he knew what she was up to. She needed time to process what had happened in the past 24 hours.

While Tommy had hit her before, his last attack had been particularly brutal and particularly unjustified. His behaviour was becoming more erratic and, as such, she was finding it harder to cover for him. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to cover for him anymore. She had been so close to revealing all to her father that morning, although she suspected that he already knew most of what she had to say. She couldn't predict what the future held, all she knew was that things were probably going to get worse before they got any better.

After a prolonged silence, a loud banging came at the door. This was it, the switch had flicked. Tommy has transformed from the remorseful saint to the vengeful sinner.

He began his next rant, 'I have been more than patient with you, Katy!' Then came the ultimatum. 'Either you come out, or I come in - the choice is yours.'

* * *

As they sat opposite each other, in their usual booth it was like no time had passed at all.

'Guess we can add this to thing list of things that haven't changed,' said Elliot as he took a sip of his coffee. A slight scrunch of the face suggested it was the same as always, nothing more than drinkable. 'Just like old times,' he said as he held his mug up, attempting to cheers Olivia.

'Elliot,' said Olivia, putting the breaks on their friendship. While she wanted to help him, she still hadn't forgiven him for everything that had happened and she didn't want any animosity she felt to interfere with the task in hand - helping Kathleen. 'Let's not get distracted by _the good ol' days_ shall we.'

Elliot nodded. He was clearly disappointed but he knew she was right.

'I think I can help, but not the way you suggested. I think you're targeting the wrong person in all this.' Elliot's face was sceptical. 'Hear me out. We need to be looking at Kathleen here, not this scumbag that she's dating. Until she accepts that there's a problem nothing will change. I could flash my badge in this guys face a hundred times and scare him off, but unless she acknowledges that he's bad news, she'll keep going back.' Olivia's words were clearly difficult for Elliot to hear. The idea that his daughter had become one of those cases that used to land on his desk every day broke his heart. 'Come on, how many times have we seen cases like this Elliot.'

'I hear what you're saying, but she won't listen to me - I've tried.'

'I'm not saying you haven't, but sometimes it takes a new perspective. She won't listen to you because you're her father, but maybe she'll listen to me,' said Olivia, giving Elliot the new found hope he needed. 'I'll go round and talk to her tomorrow, but you have to promise that you'll stay away until then. The last thing we need is you getting charged with assault.'

Elliot closed his eyes and nodded in agreement. 'I promise,' he said through gritted teeth.

* * *

Kathleen sat on the floor in between the basin and the bath. She had spent so much time in that spot that she was sure the tiles had begun to mould to the shape of her body. She would often hum to drown Tommy's angry rampage on the other side of the door, but it was strangely quiet out there today.

She allowed her mind to wander. Maybe he had left? Maybe he had calmed down? Maybe he was dead? She'd have been happy with any option.

Just as she naively thought she was safe, a loud thump against the door brought her shattering back down to earth from her blissful ignorance.

'You have three seconds to open this door, Katy!' Shouted Tommy from the other side. A slap of the door was accompanied by the first number. '**One!'** She couldn't give in to him, she had to be strong. Another slap could only mean another number. '**Two!'** She was paralysed, she couldn't open the door even if she wanted to. The third and final slap at the door.'**Three!'** This was a huge mistake, she should have just opened the door. Now surely she would pay the price.

'I warned you, Katy,' his voice was more sinister than ever.

* * *

Now that they had a plan for Kathleen, Olivia was more open to exploring the realms of their friendship.

'So, how's the rest of the family? Maureen, the twins, Eli?' She wasn't sure whether she intentionally failed to ask about Kathy, or whether it was a genuine mistake. After all these years, she was still envious of the woman that had the one thing that she wanted the most.

'The kids are… Well, not kids anymore. Eli's starting middle school in the Fall, would you believe that?' They shared a similar expression of shock at Elliot's comment. Maybe counting the years out loud made them realise just how long it had been.

'They grow up fast... And Kathy, how's she?' She couldn't help herself. She had to ask, but was it wrong that she was glad he hadn't mentioned her yet?

'Kathy's good… I hear. We finally got that divorce a few years ago.'

'I'm sorry Elliot,' said Olivia, reaching for his hand. This hand-holding thing was becoming all too regular with them, it was strange, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't enjoy the intimacy it suggested.

'Don't be,' he said, shaking his head. He had clearly made peace with the fact his marriage had ended. 'Kathy's the one you should feel sorry for. She's dating an accountant these days. I guess after 30 years with me, a nine-to-five desk job is pretty sexy for a girl,' he joked. 'What about you? I hear you have a son now?'

'Noah,' she said, smiling with pride.

'I always knew you'd be a great mother.'

Something about the moment was bothering her. She couldn't tell whether it was them sitting in their old booth, or her finding out that he and Kathy were divorced, or her talking to him about Noah, but it was all becoming a little overwhelming. She needed a break. She needed to recover from this unbelievable whirlwind of a day. 'I'd better get back to the station before Dodds has my head.'

'Okay, I'll drive you, partner.' Elliot was clearly having a hard time understanding that it would take a lot more than a coffee for Olivia to see them as partners again.

* * *

The banging at the door was louder than before, surely Tommy couldn't be using his hand any more.

A splintering of the wood provided the confirmation she was looking for. A small crack in the door appeared and through it came a hammer. She was petrified. Tommy was scary enough unarmed, but with a hammer who knew the damage he could do to her. She knew the door could only take a few more blows. All she could do was sit there and wait for the hurricane that was about to hit.

With one more blow, the hole in the door became big enough for Tommy to reach through and turn the lock. That was it, there was nowhere left to hide.

She remained where she was, a crumpled heap on the floor as he stood over her, hammer in hand.

'What have I told you about locking the bathroom door,' he said as he raised the hammer over his head.

The hammer came down upon her with the weight of all of Tommy's issues and insecurities behind it.

* * *

**This was a tough one to write. I hope you're all finding the plot and characters engaging. **

**Reviews welcomed.**


	3. Chapter 3

**As Olivia and Elliot continue to try to rebuild and develop their relationship they face a challenge unlike any they've seen before. Meanwhile, Finn and Amanda are called to a domestic disturbance where the victim is all too familiar. The paths of all four individuals cross in the most tragic way leaving two of our detectives silenced by the brutality of this world, a father beaten to his knees by grief and despair, and a woman who is heartbroken at the sight of best friend's anguish.**

**Reviews, feedback and suggestions are warmly welcomed.**

* * *

The drive to the station had been awkward and a little uncomfortable. Now that they were finished talking about Kathleen, and finished asking about each other's family, and finished joking about how bad the coffee was, they had nothing left to say. All their words had dried up. They behaved almost like strangers. Did they know each other at all anymore?

'Here we are,' he said, pulling up in front of the precinct.

She opened her mouth to reply, hesitated, then thought _to hell with it. _'Are you coming in? You can catch up with Finn, meet the new squad, see my new office?' Mentioning her office left a slightly smug smile on her face. Was she flirting with him? Why did it feel like she was asking him back to hers after a date or something?

'Sure, why not. Let me just go park,' he said.

'I'll wait for you here,' replied Olivia.

'Liv.' Elliot shot her one of his moody stares.

'What?'She queried, playing dumb.

'You don't have to babysit me,' he said confronting her intentions. 'I'm a big boy. I think I'll manage to find my way.'

'With your sense of direction I'm not taking any chances' she said laughing. She pretended she was waiting for him, but in reality, she didn't want to face the questions she knew she'd be confronted with if she entered the squad room alone. If she waited for Elliot, she could at least escape the worst of it.

* * *

Olivia cautiously peered into the squad room hoping that Dodds had left.

'The coast is clear Lieutenant,' shouted Carisi, laughing. He knew exactly who she was avoiding.

'Thanks, Carisi.' She almost forgot that Elliot was with her until she heard him clearing his throat. She wasn't sure whether he'd done this as a deliberate reminder of his presence or not. 'Sonny Carisi, I'd like to introduce you to my old partner, Elliot Stabler.'

'I've heard a lot of good things,' said Carisi extending his hand.

'I can't imagine where from,' joked Elliot as he extended his hand to meet Carisi's. The two men shook hands. Olivia felt as though they would have become good friends had they worked at the unit together. Although their similarities weren't obvious to the untrained eye, she knew them both to be incredibly caring and sensitive men who both had a dedication to the job and protect those most vulnerable in society.

'Where are Finn and Rollins?' Inquiried Olivia.

'There was a disturbance out in Queens. The neighbours called it in - screaming and shouting from the apartment upstairs, and not for the first time apparently.' Elliot's heart skipped a beat. Kathleen lived in Queens, but surely this was just a coincidence. She was fine when he left her, well as fine as she could be, all things considered.'The patrol officers first on the scene requested SVU. They said it was urgent, so Finn and Rollins went to check it out. They left a while ago.'

'You got a street name, detective?' Asked Elliot, his concern mounting. She recognised the look of panic in his eyes, she wanted to reach for him, to calm him down and tell him it was okay - but that wasn't them anymore.

'Sure, one sec,' said Carisi as he looked through the mess of papers on his desk. 'Here it is, 75th Avenue, number 16400.'

Every part of Elliot froze. He was sure that in that moment even his heart stopped beating. That was Kathleen's address. Immediately his mind began to explore all of the worst possible outcomes. Was his daughter dead? Did that scumbag kill her? Had he really let this happen? Had he really just left her there with him this morning? How could he be so stupid? His mind could not stop asking questions that he simply didn't have the answer to. Graphic flashes of what could have happened raced through his mind as he continued to imagine the worst. He needed to snap out of it.

'Elliot? Elliot?' Olivia's soft voice was exactly what it took to bring him back from the edges of hell.

'Kathleen,' he tried to say more but for some reason, his body would only allow him to say one word. He tried again, 'Kathleen. That's Kathleen's address.' Olivia's heart broke for him, the pain in his eyes was evident. She wanted to hold him, to tell him it not to worry, but she knew that what he really needed was some direction.

'Come on. Let's go,' she said as she grabbed his arm and began pulling him to the door. She knew that no person would be able to keep Elliot away from his daughter's apartment so the only way she could protect him was to make sure she was by his side the whole time.

* * *

As Finn and Rollins arrived at the address in Queens they noticed a young, distressed officer standing on the steps outside. Clearly, he was a rookie - he possessed all the telltale signs. He was fresh-faced and bright-eyed. Obviously, the job hadn't had the chance to corrupt him yet.

'You looking for us?' Said Finn, approaching the young officer.

'You guys SVU?' Asked the patrol officer, slightly out of breath.

'Detective Tutuola and this is Detective Rollins. What's the scoop kid?' Finn and Rollins flashed their badges in unison, the contrast between their decades of experience and this kid's novice ways were unmistakable.

'Officer Riley. Glad you got here so quick. It's a real mess up there. The vic is a young female, mid-20s. She's been drifting in and out since we got here, my partner's up there with her but we're still waiting on the medics.' The rookie babbled, barely taking a breath between his words. He was clearly flustered by it all. 'No sign of forced entry, my partner says it looks like a domestic that got out of hand.'

'You new on the job?' Asked Rollins, already fully aware of the answer.

'This is my first month' replied Officer Riley, whose panic didn't seem to be fading. The confirmation of his inexperience prompted Finn and Rollins to move past him towards the front door. 'You guys should know, there's a lot of blood up there. It's… It's like a scene from a horror movie. Someone really did a number on her. I've... I've never seen anything like it before,' warned the stuttering young man.

'Thanks for the warning kid, but unfortunately this ain't our first time at a domestic,' said Finn, bluntly.

'Any sign of the perp?' Rollins asked one last question before they entered the property.

'A young male fled the scene when we arrived, I tried to chase after him but I lost him on a side street.' The young officer's face was full of disappointment, in himself, in the situation and maybe even in the world. He didn't know it yet, but that feeling was something he would have to get used to in his chosen profession.

'Don't worry kid, it happens. You stay out here and wait for the ambulance, got it?' Ordered Finn, knowing that Officer Riley would be more of a hindrance than a help at the crime scene.

The rookie nodded silently while Finn and Rollins began to make their way up the stairs.

* * *

Olivia ran to the nearest squad car dragging Elliot behind her. It was almost like guiding a lost boy. He was clearly still processing the information they had just received as he had said nothing since they left the squad room. He broke his silence as they got into the car.

'What the hell was I thinking, Liv? I should never have left her. This is my fault - whatever happens, this is on me.' He cradled his head in his hands while rocking back and forth slightly. Clearly, the regret at his earlier decisions was causing him tremendous pain.

'Elliot, you can't blame yourself,' she said trying to offer what little comfort she could.

He sat up and glared at her, recognising the line they had fed so many parents who had failed their children over the years. Parents who could have done more. Parents that were all too absent. Parents who ignored the warning signs. Parents like him. Except he thought he was better than that. That the job had taught him better. That he knew better. How could he have let this happen?

Olivia knew not to push him. She recognised his dark side and knew that nothing she could say or do would help, so she opted for silence. It seemed that Elliot too felt that silence was the best policy. He clearly wasn't prepared to vocalise any of the turmoil that she knew was happening in his head. Maybe silence was the safest place for both of them.

Much to Olivia's surprise, Elliot reached over to hold her hand. Much like the hug, they shared the day Eli was born, him taking her hand was his way of showing her that he needed her. She looked over to him, as he struggled not to cry she curved her lips slightly and gave him a small smile that said _I love you and everything will be okay. _

In return, he squeezed her hand as if to say _thanks. _Then he brought her hand up to his lips and planted a soft kiss on the back of it as if to say _I love you too. _

He held her hand tightly for the remainder of the drive. Only they had mastered this unspoken form of communication. Even after all these years, they still knew exactly what one another was thinking.

* * *

The rookie hadn't exaggerated, while they had seen countless crime scenes over the years, this one certainly possessed a particular brutality. The white tiles were covered by a scattering of blood. The attack had clearly been violent and sinister - a domestic that escalated seemed like a fair guess. For some reason, crimes of passion could produce the most horrific scenes. Why was it that people could so easily justify hurting the ones they claimed to love the most?

'Rollins and Tutuola, SVU,' announced Amanda as they entered the room. The officer who was with the victim sighed.

'Officer Dixon. Sorry if I seem disappointed to see you guys, but I was kinda hoping you'd be the medics. We need that ambulance.'

Amanda's face became blank and expressionless as she truly absorbed the extent of the young woman's injuries. The woman in front of them was obviously beautiful, or at least she had been, but there was no beauty in the way she presented at that moment. It had been taken, stolen by a character so weak that he beat her to within an inch of her life then left her to die.

Officer Dixon was crouched beside the body, holding her hand and checking her pulse. 'I'll be honest, I'm way out of my depth here. I thought the rookie was going to pass out. I had to send for air before I had another casualty on my hands. I could really use a hand, there's so much blood I don't even know where I should be putting pressure right now.'

Rollins was equally clueless so looked to Finn for assistance, that's when she realised he had been unusually quiet. He stood there almost as lifeless as the girl before them. Amanda didn't understand it, as Finn had already remarked, this wasn't their first case like this. This part of the job was never easy but what had made him so numb?

'Finn?' Amanda said his name abruptly, waking him from his daze and bringing him straight back into the realms of reality.

'Kathleen!?' It was as though Amanda's voice was a starting gun for Finn's actions. He immediately dove to the woman's side and attempted to cradle her bleeding head.

'You know this girl?' Asked Officer Dixon.

'I used to work with her old man. He was a cop', he said still staring at her body. He turned to face Rollins, 'this is Kathleen Stabler, Elliot's daughter.'

Suddenly Amanda understood Finn's earlier concern.

* * *

By the time Elliot and Olivia arrived at Kathleen's apartment the street was crowded. People had flooded out from their homes for a front row ticket to the action. The chances were, not one of those neighbours knew another by name, but as soon as there was a sign of commotion, everybody was suddenly interested. They were like vultures, happy to take whatever pickings they could get.

Olivia parked the car in the middle of the street behind the crowd. The vehicle had not even stopped moving by the time Elliot got out. He began fighting his way through the hoard of people, desperate to find his daughter. As he reached the front of the crowd he attempted to duck under the police tape which had newly been put up. That's when Riley intervened.

'Sorry sir, you'll have to stay behind the tape. It's the rules.' After a day of screw-ups, the poor kid was just trying to do his job but he picked the wrong time to start. Elliot Stabler, a decorated member of the NYPD for 25 years, was not about to be told the rules by some rookie, especially not when his daughter was involved.

'Up there is my daughter's apartment and down here we've got two cop cars and a bus. So, with all due respect, I don't give a shit about the rules right now!' Shouted Elliot, grabbing the rookie by the throat.

At that moment, Dixon stepped in to try and protect his partner and calm the situation. Elliot fought to overpower the two men, all he wanted to do was make it into the house, to set eyes on Kathleen. He wrestled to break free of them while repeatedly shouting, 'Let go of me! Let go of me!'

'Easy fellas, easy! Lieutenant Benson, SVU.' Said Olivia, coming from behind and flashing her badge. 'Easy, easy… He's the vic's father. I need you to let him go.'

'Father or not, he just attacked my partner,' said Dixon. Dixon wasn't a bad guy nor was he trying to be difficult, but having witnessed first hand the raw rage Elliot was capable of, he was afraid of what might happen if they did unhand him.

'He's calm now. He's fine. I promise.' While Olivia didn't believe any of what she just said, she was sure she could handle him if necessary. Just as Dixon and Riley considered letting go of him Finn appeared in the doorway of the apartment building, and Elliot's shouting recommenced.

'Finn!' Elliot tried to get the attention of his old friend while still resisting the restraint of the two officers holding him. Finn stood in the doorway completely still, his once white t-shirt was now almost entirely red. There was no hiding the brutality of the scene he had just left.

Elliot's shouting became more hopeless and with that more aggressive. 'Where's my daughter, Finn!? Where is she!?' Finn couldn't bring himself to say anything. He wanted to give his friend the answers he so desperately wanted but his mind wouldn't let him think about the scene he just left for long enough to make words.

'Is that her blood, Finn!? Is it!?' Finn attempted to avoid eye contact hoping that out of sight could translate into out of mind.

'Look at me and tell me, dammit! LOOK AT ME!' Finn knew he couldn't ignore his friend any longer, while he still couldn't find the words to say, his eyes must have said all that was necessary. Finn's motionless daze told Elliot everything. It was as if Elliot could see exactly what Finn had just seen by staring into his eyes.

In that moment he stopped fighting the officers that were trying to subdue him. As his legs fell from under him, Dixon and Riley went from holding Elliot back to holding him up. As his worst fears were realised, Elliot fell to the ground, wailing in agony. Olivia immediately rushed to his side, in an attempt to offer some support the man she loved who had broken in front of her very eyes.

As Olivia cradled him on the ground, Elliot released harrowing cries that were formed of grief and rage in equal measures.

* * *

**So, there we have Chapter 3, the fate of Kathleen is yet to be decided - what do you think should happen?**


	4. Chapter 4

**After the brutal attack of her boyfriend, Kathleen Stabler is left fighting for her life. Will she pull through? And how will the attack affect the people she loves and that love her the most? Elliot is left consumed by guilt and regret while Kathy's irrational words are driven by grief. Meanwhile, Olivia attempts to suppress all of her emotions in an effort to be strong for her friend, but will Elliot be able to accept the support she offers him or reject it completely?**

**Please - read, review and recommend. **

* * *

As the medics stretchered Kathleen out, Elliot remained a crumpled heap on the floor. This was a level of pain that Olivia had never seen in him. She continued to console him while trying to lift him to his feet. 'Come on Elliot, she needs you,' she whispered in his ear. Olivia was strong, but lifting Elliot was a stretch even for her, she needed him to at least try and stand.

It was useless, the wind had been knocked out of him and his body was completely limp. Finn noticed her struggling and approached the two of them to help. Between them, Finn and Olivia hoisted Elliot to his feet. His two old friends guided him to his daughter's side. Elliot, though unbelievably relieved that she was alive, was afraid to look at her. He wasn't sure if he was ready to discover the condition she had been left in.

Kathleen was almost unrecognisable. Her beautiful blond hair was almost brown in colour now, unmistakably bloodstained. Her face was a map of black and blue, the bruising so severe that it was unclear when one bruise ended and another began. Her eyes were swollen shut, even if she was conscious, it was unclear whether she'd be able to see him. This wasn't his baby anymore.

Looking at her brought another wave of grief as Elliot whelped in pain. 'How could I let this happen?' He cried.

'Don't say that Elliot. This isn't your fault.' Olivia knew her words were falling on deaf ears, but she had to at least try to comfort him.

'Yeah man, this ain't on you,' chimed Finn.

'You ride with her to the hospital and we'll meet you there.' Said, Olivia, as her and Finn guided their friend into the back of the ambulance.

Finn wrapped an arm around Olivia as they stood watching the ambulance drive away. While Elliot's pain had been extremely visible, Finn knew that Olivia was hiding her agony in an attempt to be strong. He knew she needed a friend just as much as Elliot did. Rollins walked towards them as they watched the ambulance turn the corner. She wrapped her arm around Olivia's free side, sensing the comfort she needed after what had just happened.

'Poor guy,' she said, trying to fill an uncomfortable silence with anything she could. She meant it though. While Rollins didn't know Elliot personally, she had heard enough to know that he was a good man and to see his anguish was truly heart-wrenching. 'You two should go to the hospital. I can finish up here.' Finn looked at her as if to say _are you sure._ 'Go. I'll meet you there,' Amanda reassured him, knowing Olivia couldn't be left alone right now.

Finn guided Olivia to the passenger's side of the vehicle before getting in the driver's seat himself. He didn't want to pry, but he was curious so he had to ask, 'Is this what this morning was about?'

Olivia looked at him and nodded silently, finally allowing herself to show some emotion as the tears began streaming from her eyes.

* * *

Elliot sat holding his daughter's hand as the paramedic worked tirelessly to stabilize her. Although she wasn't awake, he hoped she could still hear him. Although he hadn't been there when she needed him the most, he hoped he could at least comfort her now.

'I'm so sorry sweetheart. I should never have left you with him. I'm so sorry.' As his words flowed so did his tears.

'I know I wasn't always the best dad and I know I haven't always been there, but I promise you I **will **make this right. You just gotta keep fighting sweetheart, promise me you won't stop fighting.' He paused and squeezed her hand. 'I can't lose you.' He brushed the matted, blood-soaked, hair back from her face and planted a kiss on her forehead.

'We're here, sir,' said the paramedic. 'Time to get your daughter inside.'

Elliot looked at him with a new found confidence that everything would be fine - it had to be. He wasn't going to lose his daughter today.

* * *

As Finn and Olivia arrived at the hospital they found Elliot alone in the waiting room.

'How's she doing?' Asked Finn.

'They rushed her into surgery as soon as we got here. They say her brain…' His voice cracked a little, but he was determined not to cry again. He was already embarrassed by the amount of emotion he had shown. 'Her brain... It's bleeding into her skull,' he continued.

'She's a fighter, Elliot. She'll pull through this,' Olivia said, sitting down beside him and rubbing his back.

'Kathy's on her way.' Elliot paused, before looking at Olivia, 'I didn't know what to tell her on the phone. I just told her she needed to get down here.'

'Don't worry, we can talk to Kathy.' Olivia gestured to herself and Finn, attempting to relieve some of Elliot's stress.

'No, it should be me.' Olivia loved that even in his darkest moments he still put the wellbeing of others before his own.

Finn, Olivia and Elliot sat in silence. The waiting room became a real life purgatory for them. All they had for company were each other and their thoughts. It was just a waiting game now. Waiting for updates on Kathleen's condition... Waiting on Rollins with news from the crime scene… Waiting for Kathy's imminent arrival...

* * *

As Amanda arrived in the hallway Finn went to greet her and provide her with all the nonexistent updates on the situation.

Physically and emotionally drained, both Elliot and Olivia looked like they could use a coffee. Amanda extended a cup to each of them as she introduced herself, 'we haven't officially met. Amanda Rollins.' Retired or not, coffee was a universal currency for cops. She offered it to him as a peace offering, as a way to soften the blow - although he had been through a lot that day, this was an investigation, and she was a cop. There were questions she needed to ask.

'Thank you for all that you've done today, detective,' said Elliot, warmly receiving the coffee.

She gave him a small smile in response. 'I know there's never a good time to start asking questions but you understand the urgency in these cases.'

He nodded. Of course, he did, he left the job, but it never left him.

'Finn mentioned that you might who's responsible for this?' Began Amanda.

'Tommy Delfino. That's all you need to know. He did this,' said Elliot defiantly.

'The boyfriend - you're sure?'

He nodded again. 'I don't know much about the guy but I always knew he was trouble. I tried to tell her, but girls… They don't listen to their fathers. Especially not my girls... And especially not when it comes to men.' He said rolling his eyes.

'Has he done anything like this before?' Continued Rollins.

'A black eye. A bruised cheek. A broken nose. But nothing like this... If I'd known he was capable…' His words dried up. He couldn't finish his sentence because the truth was, he did know what Tommy was capable of. He wouldn't have come to SVU that day if he didn't think Kathleen was in danger.

'You couldn't have known. Nobody ever imagines that things like this are possible,' Rollins said attempting to appease the visibly distressed father in front of her.

_But I did, _he thought.

* * *

The door of the waiting room opened once again. Olivia looked up and realised that this time it was another blond that was joining them, a familiar face from the past. It was Kathy.

As his ex-wife approached, Elliot immediately dropped Olivia's that he had tightly held since they got there and began to distance himself from her. She hated that even after all these years and even after the divorce this was still his gut reaction. It was as though he was still trying to prove to Kathy that there was nothing going on between them. While that was true, there had been a number of moments where Olivia felt their relationship evolving into something closer that day. Considering the circumstances, it was selfish of her to even allow her mind to wander into that territory, but she couldn't help it.

'Kathy,' he said, standing up.

'What's going on Elliot? Where's Kathleen?' The look on Elliot's face immediately concerned her. In all their years of marriage, she'd only seen such pain in his eyes a handful of times.

Elliot guided her away from the others for some privacy before he recounted the events of the day. Olivia and Finn watched from the sidelines and could gauge exactly what part of the story that Elliot had reached through Kathy's reactions. She cried, she shouted and she hit his chest before finally falling into his arms. Kathleen was their child and so no one could better understand their feelings than each other. That unique insight into the emotions of the situation bonded them.

* * *

It wasn't long before Kathleen was brought out of surgery. Olivia and Finn patiently waited in the hallway, giving the family some privacy as the surgeon informed them of Kathleen's condition.

'She's stable, but she's not out the woods yet,' began the surgeon. More words followed, but Elliot didn't register any of them. He was just relieved to hear that she was safe, that she might pull through this awful day. Before he knew it the surgeon was gone and Elliot realised he hadn't listened to anything past his first sentence.

'How did this happen Elliot?' Kathy asked, looking at him from the opposite side of their daughter's bed. 'I thought you went to check on her today.'

'I did,' he replied.

'And?' Kathy asked, fishing for more answers.

'And I thought I was getting through to her. It seemed like she was finally ready to talk, but that's when he showed up…' He paused for thought. 'I warned him, Kathy, I did. I told him what I'd do if he touched her again.' Elliot let out a sigh before shaking his head. 'But you should have seen her face, I think I was scaring her even more than he did. She begged me to go.'

'So you just left her there?' The outrage in Kathy's voice was evident.

'I was gonna go back, but I thought I could call in some favours at SVU first. Yunno, hit him with the full strength of the law,' said Elliot justifying his actions.

'Do you know how ironic this is?' Kathy bitterly laughed, 'for years you battle with this rage inside you, and then, the one time it might actually be useful you decide to bury it.' She shook her head in disbelief. Was she saying this to hurt him or to provoke a reaction?

'I just wanted to give her some time,' his voice was full of regret. 'Olivia was gonna talk to her tomorrow, convince her to press charges.'

'Of course, Saint Olivia saves the day. Except not this time!' Even though they weren't together anymore, it was clear that Kathy still suffered from some sort of inferiority complex where Olivia was concerned. 'Look at her Elliot! **Look at her!**' Kathy's voice increased in volume and aggression, pointing at the battered face of their little girl. 'Let's hope our daughter is still breathing tomorrow!'

'Where are you going?' He asked, noticing Kathy making a stand from her chair.

'To check on the rest of our kids. Don't worry, you stay here and do nothing… Since you're so good at that.' She was angry and needed someone to blame. Unfortunately, that was him, he understood that and was willing to bear the responsibility if it lessened the suffering he knew she was going through.

* * *

Her words echoed in his head, _you stay here and do nothing_. He was not prepared to be that guy. He never had been. He was Elliot Stabler; he hit first and asked questions later; he was willing to kill to protect the ones he loved and; he would do anything for his family. He couldn't sit and do nothing any longer. He'd already wasted enough time.

'Where are you going?' Came Olivia's voice from behind as she noticed him raising from his chair.

'To do what I should have done this morning.' The look in his eyes scared her, it was dark and sinister. 'Then maybe none of this would have happened.' He looked directly into her eye, locking her in, 'I could have ended this.'

'Elliot, you can't blame yourself,' she's lost count of how many times she'd said that today.

He looked at her and let out a sarcastic laugh. 'I don't blame myself, Olivia. **I blame you.**' He delivered that knockout blow before making his way to the exit.

Olivia turned around to see Finn standing there. 'He didn't mean that,' his voice, consoling.

'Yes, he did.' Olivia fought to stop the tears that were desperate to escape from her eyes.

His words acted like a dagger through the heart. She hoped it was the grief talking, she hoped he didn't actually blame her. But there was no time to worry about her feelings. Elliot had already left, and she knew she needed to find him before he did something he would regret. Even though he didn't want her help, she wasn't prepared to stand by and watch him make an irreversible mistake. She loved him, and she was going to protect him even if he hated her.

* * *

** Grief can make people do and say strange things. Often it makes us lash out at the people we love the most. While Kathy seems to blame Elliot, and Elliot seems to blame Olivia, in reality, the stress and trauma of the situation had caused any irrational thoughts to spiral out of control. In the next chapter, Elliot will be emotionally charged and off the leash, what damage will he do before Olivia catches up to him?**

**If you take anything away from this story, please let it be this: Always look out for the ones you love, especially when they push you away as that's probably when they need you the most. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Will team at SVU be able to find Kathleen's attacker, and more importantly, will they be able to find him before Elliot does? As the hours go by, Olivia's concern for her old partner mounts. Will Kathy be able to provide any insight into what has happened over the past eight years and where he may be now? **

**Hopefully, this chapter clears up any questions people had about Elliot's emotions. **

**Reviews are greatly appreciated. **

* * *

As Elliot disappeared into the stairwell, Olivia ran after him. 'Elliot wait!' She shouted down the stairs as she ran after him. 'Let me help.'

'No!' he shouted, turning around and grabbing her. 'You've done enough,' he said, shaking her. Olivia truly believed he would never hurt her, but his rage still frightened her. Elliot quickly realised that he had overstepped and unhanded Olivia. 'I won't let you stop me again. I never should have listened to you!'

'Ell…'

He quickly interrupted her. It was obvious that he was in no mood to listen to anyone or anything, 'You want to help, Liv? How about you explain to Kathy why her daughter is lying in a hospital bed unconscious? Why I didn't protect her? Why that dirtbag, Delfino, is still breathing?'

Kathy must have said something that triggered him. Olivia wanted to know more, but she knew she would have to just settle with speculation for now. She stood back and allowed him to leave. She knew that any attempt to reason with him would just push him even further away.

* * *

Kathy sat at her daughter's bedside, holding her hand and praying that the worst was over.

'Hey,' said Olivia, appearing in the doorway of the hospital room. She wasn't sure a smile was appropriate, but she wanted to appear warm. She couldn't imagine the pain that Kathy was feeling.

'Hey,' replied Kathy. Both women found the moment equally strange. It had been so long since they last saw each other, and so much had changed. While they were never friends, they had grown to respect the vital role that they each played in Elliot's life. 'Where's Elliot?'

Olivia shrugged and shook her head. 'I wish I knew.' She couldn't hide the worry in her voice.

'He's not doing so good, huh?' Kathy's question was almost rhetorical - she already knew the answer.

'Honestly, he's a mess, but he won't really talk about it. You know the way he gets, it's like the lights are on but nobody's home,' replied Olivia.

Kathy smiled in recognition of exactly what Olivia was talking about. 'I was pretty hard on him earlier,' admitted Kathy. 'I didn't mean to blame him but that's how it came out. He's a good man, and a great father. I was just so angry...'

'I'm sure he knows you didn't mean it.' Olivia words weren't so much to comfort Kathy, but more to comfort herself. If Kathy didn't mean what she said, maybe Elliot's words had also been empty.

'How could anyone do this to her, Olivia?' She asked as the tears began to flow from her eyes.

'We'll catch him Kathy, I promise you that.' While Olivia didn't like making promises like that, she was confident that this was one she would keep. With Elliot off the leash and roaming the streets, she knew the clock was ticking. She needed to find him before it was too late, so made her way back to the station to rejoin her squad.

* * *

'Hey Lieu,' hollered Carisi as soon as Olivia entered the squad room. He gestured for her to join him and Rollins who seemed to be in the middle of a deep discussion.

Rollins began to catch the Lieutenant up on exactly what they had found. 'We ran the name Tommy Delfino through the database and well, let's just say trouble is an understatement.'

'The guy's been in and out of the pen since he was a kid - possession, racketeering, assault, robbery. And that's just the things he got caught for. You name it, he's done it,' added Carisi.

'Yet somehow, he never serves a full sentence, if he even serves time at all,' interjected Rollins. Olivia looked at Rollins mystified. Her look of confusion acted as a prompt for more information.

'Does the name Luca Delfino mean anything to you, Lieutenant?' Asked Carisi.

'Should it?'

'He's Tommy's old man, and not shy of a little trouble himself. He's got strong ties with the Mob. Every time one of his boys gets in trouble he makes the problem disappear. When I was a kid, growing up on Staten Island, The Delfino's were a big deal. The type of family my Ma always warned me away from.' Carisi was fortunate that his family favoured the path of religion over the one of crime, but that certainly wasn't true of all local Italian families - case in point the Delfino's.

'This is all very interesting, but are we any closer to finding this scumbag?' Olivia wasn't interested in stories and history unless it lead to results.

'Well, Luca has four sons, Tommy, Frank, Vinny and Charlie and while the three eldest have fully embraced the family business, the youngest brother Charlie is squeaky clean. He's a med student at NYU. He keeps his head down and his nose out of trouble,' explained Carisi.

'I know which brother I'd hide with if I was trying to avoid some heat,' remarked Rollins, hinting at the obvious.

'Do we have an address?' There was an urgency in the Lieutenant's voice. She wanted to catch Tommy, but she also knew that wherever Tommy was, Elliot wouldn't be far behind and that was her true motivation.

'Finn's already on his way,' confirmed Rollins.

'Good job, but let's keep digging. We need to find this guy.' Olivia knew she could trust her squad to pull out their best work, especially for an old friend of the department. She just hoped that their best was enough.

* * *

Olivia examined and re-examined all the leads that had been thrown up, but in reality, she was just killing time. She wished it was her that had gone looking for Tommy, but it wasn't, so instead, she was just left waiting for news. Just as her patience was wearing thin, Amanda appeared. 'That was Finn on the phone. He said we were too late.'

'What do you mean?' Olivia was immediately concerned.

'Apparently, someone beat us to it. When he got to Charlie's apartment the door was already kicked in and there were signs of a struggle. If Tommy Delfino was there, he definitely isn't any more,' said Amanda, relaying the intel from Finn.

The detectives all looked at each other, their minds clearly speculating about the same theory, but was anyone willing to voice their concerns? Carisi broke the silence. 'We gotta ask the question, Lieutenant… Your old partner… Is there a chance he's gone rogue cop on us? I mean I get it, it's his daughter, I'd probably be the same…'

'Last time I checked this was an investigation into Tommy Delfino, not Elliot Stabler.' Olivia fiercely cut him off mid-sentence. 'You focus on finding the perp and I'll handle anything else.' Rollins and Carisi had both seen the fiery side of their commanding officer, but this was different. Olivia was passionately protective of her old partner. She hadn't meant for her response to be so emotional, but when it came to Elliot she couldn't help it.

* * *

It had been less than a day since he came back into her life and only a few hours since he had stormed back out of it, but already her emotions had been turned upside down. Over the years she had picked up the phone countless times, but never quite had the conviction to hit dial. In the hours since his return, she had already left him a dozen voicemails all of which had gone unreturned.

Olivia went back to the hospital to check on Kathleen. When she reached the ward she prayed that Elliot would be sitting at his daughter's bedside, but this was more hopeful than expectant. 'Still no sign of him?'

Kathy shook her head. Olivia didn't allow herself to express the worry she felt at this news. There was a short silence.

'You know I never hated you Liv?' Kathy asked softly, addressing the elephant in the room. Olivia was surprised, yet grateful, for Kathy's directness. 'Maybe I was jealous sometimes, but I never hated you'.

'Why would you be jealous of me?' Olivia was confused. The truth was she had spent the majority of her partnership with Elliot being jealous of his wife.

'You saw a side of him that I never did,' Kathy began to explain. 'Maybe that's what kept our marriage alive for so long. You and the job, you were good for him. Almost like therapy for the soul, and after he lost that… Nothing was ever the same.'

'What do you mean?' This was the first chance Olivia had been given to gain any insight into what Elliot had been up to over the past eight years, she wasn't going to miss the opportunity to find out more.

'After he retired, I guess he had nowhere to put all that darkness he usually left at work. It started to spill over into our home life... I tried to understand; I tried to make it work, but that had never been my job before... He'd always had you for that side of him…'

There was a long pause as both women considered what had just been said out loud.

'I always thought you two would end up together after the divorce,' continued Kathy. Olivia was stunned by her honesty. 'I know he loved me and he loves his kids and the idea of having a family, but you and him always had something special, I guess.'

'Well, up until today, I hadn't seen him in 8 years.' Olivia wasn't sure how much Kathy knew about the circumstances under which Elliot left; about how hurt she had been; about how he never said goodbye. She wanted to say more but she knew the circumstances weren't right.

'Honestly, up until today, I don't think I had either. He was a different man after he left the job, but today I saw some of the old him coming through. There was a compassion in his eyes that I'd forgotten existed.' Kathy sighed, 'I shouldn't have spoken to him the way I did. I really hurt him, Olivia.' Although they weren't together anymore, it was obvious Kathy still cared for Elliot. He was the father of her children, and she had spent more of her life with him than without him - love like that doesn't just fade overnight.

'I just hope he hasn't done anything stupid because of it.' Kathy looked up at Olivia. They shared a mutual look of concern.

'Me too,' replied Liv. She was now more motivated than ever to find him. At his best, he was the man she loved, but at his worst, he could be so self-destructive. She knew that she was the only one who could save him.

* * *

Having got his new address from Kathy, Olivia made her way to Elliot's apartment. She hoped she'd just ring his doorbell, he'd answer it, and after an angry exchange, he'd just let her in. At best, he'd be glad to see her and at worst, maybe he'd be drowning himself in a few beers. From the outside, it didn't look like anyone was home, but she knew that Elliot wasn't a stranger to sitting in the dark. She walked up the steps to the main doors and rang his doorbell multiple times. The was no answer. Was he still roaming the streets of the city or was he just avoiding her from the other side of the door? There was no way for her to know, so she decided to call it a night. She had a son to get home to and after the day she'd had, he was the only thing that was going to make her smile again.

She began her drive home, but as she did, she decided to make one last stop. She couldn't explain it, but something in her gut was telling her to do it. She drove to their old stomping ground - the diner.

As she pulled up outside, she gazed through the window. There he was - sitting in their booth, staring at his coffee. He had come to the one place he knew only she would find him. Maybe it was where he felt safest.

'I've been looking for you.' Olivia said as she took the seat opposite him.

Elliot remained silent and continued staring at the black coffee in his cup - it was almost as dark as his thoughts.

'Where have you been?' Olivia said reaching for his hands across the table. As she touched them he flinched slightly, it was as if she had woken him up from a dream, or maybe a nightmare. As she held his hands she noticed that the wounds were more raw than they were that morning. His knuckles housed fresh blood that hadn't been there earlier. Olivia couldn't tell whether it belonged to him or not.

He looked up at her, in the same way that a child looks at their parents when they've been caught doing something they shouldn't. She couldn't decide whether it was remorse, regret or fear that she saw in his eyes. That's when she noticed his shirt underneath his jacket. The blue crew neck sweater he was wearing earlier was now covered in blood. What had he done?

'Elliot, we need to get you out of here.' She didn't know if anyone else had noticed his bloodstain shirt and she couldn't take the risk that anyone might, not when she had no idea where he had been all day. She knew what he was capable of, but she also knew that no matter what he had done, she would do anything to protect him.

She threw some bills on the table before moving to Elliot's side and guiding him out to the car, making sure his jacket was closed and hiding any evidence. 'Come on, you're coming back to mine.'

She sat Elliot in the passenger's side of her car. She had no idea what she was doing. Her actions were almost a reflex, an involuntary response, the man she loved needed her and so she was going to be there for him. Noah was at home, but she hadn't thought that far ahead yet. The complicated reality of the situation would be addressed closer to the time. All she knew was that Elliot was in trouble, and at least if he was in her presence she could stop him from doing any more harm.

* * *

**Where do you think Elliot has been? And what do you make of Kathy's honesty? Could there be a future for Elliot and Olivia?**

**Let me know what you think. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Under the circumstances, Olivia isn't entirely comfortable with bringing Elliot into her family home, but in reality, she knows he has nowhere else to go. ****How will Olivia confront the very real possibility of her dear son, Noah, encountering her dearest friend, Elliot? **

**Will Olivia be able to provide Elliot with the comfort that he desires? **

**[Warning: Sexual Content/Smut]**

**Please, read and review. **

* * *

They pulled up outside Olivia's apartment. Despite her best efforts, during the drive there Olivia had failed to come up with a decisive plan of how she was going to bring a traumatized Elliot into the home where her son was. She wasn't sure if she was ready to make awkward introductions or to answer difficult questions.

'Elliot, we're gonna go inside and get you cleaned up but my son is in that apartment so we have to do things my way, okay?' She looked at him to make sure her words were registering. 'Okay?' She repeated.

He looked at her and nodded his head.

'I need you to zip your jacket. He can't see this,' she said gesturing to the blood which had dried into his shirt leaving a purple-brown stain.

Elliot obliged, fastening his jacket closed.

'I'm gonna go in first to relieve my sitter. When you see her leave, come upstairs and wait in the hallway - second floor. Got it?'

He nodded once again. He hadn't spoken a word since the diner. His silence worried her, but for now, her main concern was her son. While Olivia wanted to help Elliot, in all reality she had no idea what he had done that day. She could only hope that his presence in her home wasn't putting her or her son in danger or incriminating them in any way. But, if anyone was worth taking that risk for, it was Elliot.

* * *

Once he saw the sitter leave, Elliot entered Olivia's apartment building and waited in the hallway as instructed. He paced back and forth as a few minutes went by. Finally, the door to Olivia's apartment opened.

'Noah's in bed, but he won't be asleep yet so we need to be quiet,' whispered Olivia. 'Sit down. I'll get something for those hands.'

Elliot took a seat on the sofa and absorbed his surroundings. This wasn't the apartment he was familiar with, yet it still very much felt like Olivia's place as he remembered it.

Olivia sat on the coffee table facing him and handed him a drink. 'You looked like you needed one,' she said, and she wasn't wrong. As he sipped at the freshly poured scotch, Olivia held his hand as she applied disinfectant to his wounded knuckles. She couldn't help but smile as Elliot winced from the pain.

'Enjoying yourself, Lieutenant?' Said Elliot, softly. She swore she could almost see a smile appearing.

Finally, some words to prove that he wasn't dead inside. His half-hearted joke came as an incredible relief. Somewhere beneath this broken surface remained the annoying, arrogant man she had come to love. Before she could reply, a noise from the hallway made her hesitate. She peered over Elliot's shoulder to see Noah standing there in his PJs. 'Mommy, I'm thirsty. Could I have some water, please.'

Olivia panicked, she wasn't ready for Elliot to meet her son, and especially not like this. 'Of course, sweetheart,' she said as she rose to her feet.

Noah stared at Elliot, clearly wondering who the unfamiliar man in his living room was. Olivia knew she had to introduce him but she didn't know how. Her friend? Her partner? Her colleague? The issue was he hadn't been any of those things in a long time. Much to her surprise, Elliot opened his mouth and began to do the legwork for her.

'Hey, buddy. I'm Elliot, an old friend of your mom's. We used to work together. She was the best detective I ever knew.' Noah smiled at his introduction. Olivia was amazed, within seconds Elliot had transformed from an empty shell of a man to the warm fathering type she remembered him to be.

'Come on sweetie, let's get you that water and get you back to bed,' Olivia said, guiding her son away.

* * *

When Olivia returned from Noah's room she found Elliot standing beside her mantlepiece. In one hand was his newly refilled drink and in the other was a photo frame that housed a picture of her and her son. Elliot turned around at the sound of her footsteps. 'Seems like a good kid,' he said.

'He is,' she replied proudly as Elliot continued to walk around the room, inspecting the countless other photos on display. 'Elliot we need to talk about what happened today.'

Elliot chose to ignore her, sitting back down again. 'They don't stay that age for long.' Elliot had always been good at changing the subject - he was an expert at avoiding difficult questions. 'One day you're tucking them in. Then, next thing you know, they're gone. Living their own lives.' His eyes began watering as a sense of loss invaded his expression. Olivia wasn't sure whether it came from the fact that his little girl was lying in a hospital bed or the realisation that she, in fact, had not been his little girl in a very long time.

'You should get cleaned up,' Olivia said, accepting that she was not going to find the answers she was looking for that night. While Noah's presence had briefly re-instilled a sense of humanity in Elliot, it was clear that his emotions were beginning to take a turn for the worse. 'You can use the bathroom in mine and I'll find you something to change into,' she instructed before showing him the way.

* * *

Searching through her unused drawers and into the depths of her wardrobe Olivia found a collection of forgotten clothing items left by various old flames. Maybe it was inappropriate to offer these to Elliot, but it was the best she could do under such short notice. Olivia knocked on the bathroom door. 'Elliot, I found you a change of clothes,' she announced, but there was no answer. 'Elliot?'

She opened the door slightly, and while she could hear the water running, there was no sign of any steam. She cautiously peered over to the shower in the corner, she didn't want to intrude on him but it concerned her how unresponsive he was being. That's when she saw him, sat on the floor of her shower still fully clothed, water running. She approached him and stuck her hand under the water to find out it was running on cold.

'Elliot, what are you doing? You must be freezing!' He had been in the bathroom for almost ten minutes, surely he hadn't been torturing himself like this for the entire time?

'I just wanted to feel numb for a while.' His voice was hollow.

It was so difficult to see him this way. As she turned the tap to hot, Elliot looked up at her. It was as though his eyes were a direct reflection of her broken heart. His gaze was begging her to forgive him for all of his past mistakes and to help him through his present-day struggles. In a moment of irrationality, she decided the best thing she could do was to join him on her shower floor. She linked her arm through his and the two of them sat there, exploring their thoughts as the warm water soaked into their clothes. While her decision wasn't the most practical, she wanted to be there for him and she needed to be close to him.

Olivia sat with her head leant on his shoulder. Meanwhile, Elliot held his unsteady hands out in front of him, staring at his swollen knuckles. 'Everything I do is to protect the people I love, Liv.'

Olivia already knew this about him, but she had a feeling he wasn't trying to convince her - he was trying to convince himself.

'I still think about what Rickett said to me all those years ago - about what separates me from the monsters we put away...' She couldn't believe what she was hearing, how could Elliot think so little of himself. Olivia sat up at faced him while turning his head to ensure he faced her to. She needed him to see the truth in her eyes.

'You're no monster Elliot Stabler' she whispered, holding his cheek. He closed his eyes and leant his forehead against hers.

She held his hands in hers before bringing them to her mouth and gently kissing his wounded fists. He reciprocated by kissing her on the cheek. They had grown uncomfortably close, yet there was no place either of them would rather be. Olivia moved to plant a kiss on his cheek in return. As soon as her lips touched his face, Elliot moved to press his lips on her forehead. It was as though both of them were desperately trying to avoid the inevitable - neither wanted to be the one to make the first genuine move. As they ran out of places to kiss their mouths simultaneously met in the middle.

They hovered millimetres apart before both making the decision to embrace. Their lips connected and they began to explore one another. They devoured each other like hungry wolves. It was as though they were both being fed for the first time since they met all those years ago. Elliot's tongue entered Olivia's mouth as she let out a moan of delight.

As their bodies became closer, Elliot brought his hand up to Olivia's chest - her breast fit into his palm perfectly. He caressed it rhythmically as they continued to kiss. Almost 20 years of waiting had lead up to this moment. That's when it hit Olivia, she hadn't waited two decades for a rough fuck on her shower floor. That was not how this was going to happen. It took all her strength to pull away from him, and as she did there was a look of confusion and concern on Elliot's face. 'Not here,' she whispered, reassuring him that it was the setting, not the deed that was the problem.

She stood up and pulled him to his feet. 'Just throw your wet clothes in the tub, I'll get us some towels,' she instructed as she attempted to leave the shower cubicle. As she took her first step, she felt a pulling at her arm. Elliot had grabbed her, and by the looks of things, he wasn't going to let go.

'Just one more kiss,' he desperately requested. Before she had the chance to answer their lips were locked again. Her back was pressed against the glass of the shower room as Elliot pressed his weight into her front. Their bodies were so close that she could feel his excitement through their wet jeans, it made her want him even more. The more he pressed his hips into hers, the harder it became for her to break away. She knew he wasn't going to let her escape his reach now, so she would have to personally guide him to her bed.

She pushed his bloody sweater up and over his head before throwing it into the bathtub that was opposite them. He did the same to her shirt before making light work of unhooking her bra. Electricity ran through their bodies as their bare chests made skin-on-skin contact. Olivia reached down to his belt buckle, desperately pulling to undo it. She fought to undo his button and zipper to relieve some of the stress he must have been feeling - Elliot's pants had become significantly tighter as they struggled to house his growing erection. The wet denim proved to be difficult to slip out of, but the urgency they both felt allowed things moved more smoothly than anticipated.

Soon Elliot was only in his white boxer briefs, which were now essentially transparent from the water. Meanwhile, Olivia remained in her pants which were now undone. As Elliot moved to kiss her neck he slipped his hand inside her panties. He began to massage her with his thumb as two of his fingers made their way inside of her. It was ironic that the hand which had clearly been involved in such a brutal attack earlier that day was now bringing Olivia immeasurable amounts of pleasure. As his head moved down from her neck to her nipple, her body began writhing in ecstasy. She knew that if she didn't move this to the bedroom soon, it would be too late.

Olivia created enough distance between her and Elliot to shimmy out of her wet pants and underwear before they too were thrown into the tub. Before Elliot could resume his earlier actions Olivia shut off the shower.

'Not here,' she repeated, as she took his arm and dragged him from her ensuite into her bedroom.

* * *

They both trailed water across the floor as they made their way to the bed. As they reached the edge, Elliot pulled Olivia in for another deep kiss before pushing her back onto the covers. She lay on her back, naked, looking at him as he removed his wet boxers which at this point were leaving nothing to the imagination. As he took off his final layer, the extent of his erection was revealed. Although Olivia had felt it pressing against her in the shower, the sight of it still impressed her.

As she lay back on the bed, he crawled on top of her and began to tease her nipples again - kissing, nibbling, licking. Olivia arched her back from the pleasure before reaching down with her hand and grabbing him. She started to run her hand up and down the length of him. She could tell he enjoyed as Elliot's entire body flinched from the initial contact. He groaned with pleasure as her movements became torturously slow.

Clearly, he had his own pace in mind for the remainder of the night as he grabbed both of Olivia's wrists and pinned them to the bed on top of her. They enjoyed one last kiss as he aligned himself at her opening before slowly thrusting into her. They both let out a simultaneous moan, acknowledging that the 20-year wait was finally over. He didn't go to full depth at first, allowing her to get accustomed to his size.

Once she seemed comfortable with him, Elliot was neither shy nor gentle - and that's what she needed. She was tired of men treating her like she was fragile. He thrust into her until he was buried deep inside her. Olivia attempted to control her volume, fully aware that her son was just a few doors away. Elliot's breathing became more laboured with each thrust, it was clear that he was getting close. Olivia's body began to tremor as she neared climax, she struggled to control her body - volume included. Elliot placed his hand over her mouth as he thrust into her one more time. He let out a groan and he came inside her, before allowing his exhausted body to collapse on top of hers.

After the deed, they sat under the covers in silence, leaning against the headboard. Elliot on the left, Olivia on the right, and about a foot of space between them.

They both had so many questions, but these were easier to avoid than to answer. In Olivia's bathroom was a bathtub containing an array of bloodstained clothes - most likely, evidence of a crime that she didn't know the details of yet. In her bed was her former partner whom she had loved since she met; who's daughter was fighting for her life; whom she hadn't seen in eight years; who had just fucked her senseless. Conversation was not something they had been very successful at that day, and she was sure their actions that night were not going to improve matters.

'What was that Elliot?' Going by his track record, she knew she was unlikely to get a response but for her own peace of mind, she had to at least ask the question.

Once again Elliot had no words of response. Instead, he rested his head in her lap and draped an arm over her, holding her close to him. Although it wasn't the words she was looking for, Olivia took her own meaning from Elliot's actions - _he loved her and he needed her_. She smiled and rested a hand on his head, gently stroking his hair as she watched him close his eyes.

* * *

**So what do you think, is it true love or is Elliot just using Olivia to work through his demons?**

**Feedback is, as always, appreaciated.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Previously, Elliot and Olivia discovered and explored a new side to their relationship. While the team at SVU continues to investigate, more light is thrown on the events of the day before. As Olivia struggles with the prospect of what Elliot has done, she somehow can't help but involve herself more. With pressure coming from above to do her job, where will her loyalties lie? How far will she be willing to go to protect the man she loves?**

**Please, read and review! **

* * *

Olivia sat awake all night. While the moment they had shared was everything that she wanted, it was clouded by her concern at what Elliot had been up to in the hours leading up to her finding him at their diner. Her mind constantly switched between flashbacks of their steamy encounter and thoughts of the evidence that she was now hiding in her bathroom.

Elliot's body had been restless throughout the night. Tossing. Turning. It was just more evidence of how troubled his mind had become. Sometime between 4 and 5 am, her concentration was broken by Elliot's soft voice. 'Are you awake?'

She contemplated not answering him. She was afraid of where this conversation could lead. 'I've been awake all night,' she cautiously replied. Elliot sat up beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her into his chest. She had comforted him all night, but it was clear that she was the one that needed comfort now. 'You know I would do anything for you… But this is my home, where my son lives…' She paused before looking up at him, 'I need to know what I'm dealing with here.'

'You have nothing to worry about Liv,' he said before softly kissing her. 'I would never put you or your son at risk.'

She wanted so desperately to believe him, but she wasn't even sure if Elliot was aware of the extent of the situation. She had spent most of the previous day looking into the Delfino's, and they were not the type of family you wanted to make an enemy of. If Elliot had brought any harm to Tommy, there were sure to be serious repercussions.

Olivia decided to dig deeper. Elliot's vague, sweeping comments weren't enough for her. She needed to know the details of it all. 'What did you do to him, Elliot?' Direct. To the point. She was done dancing around the issue.

He looked at her with a blank expression, as if he didn't know what she was talking about. Maybe his efforts at playing dumb had worked on others, but she knew him better than anyone. He would need to try harder to deceive Olivia.

'Please don't treat me like a fool. Tommy Delfino, what did you do to him?' Her tone had changed significantly. He had come to her for help, but if she was going to provide it she needed to know everything. 'We went to his brother's house, but someone had already been there… I know it was you Elliot'

'I told you, you have nothing to worry about. Everything is taken care of.' What did he mean by that?

'Ell…' She stopped speaking as he stood from the bed.

'I should head back to the hospital,' he said walking over to the pile of clothes Liv had found him earlier. 'Well, maybe I'll go home first,' he said smiling as he picked up the random ensemble of clothes - a grey pair of sweats, a faded white t-shirt and a dark green hoodie. 'Do I even want to know who these belong to?' He asked, joking as continued to ignore Olivia's continued concern.

'Elliot,' she said. His efforts to avoid her were so frustrating.

'We'll talk later. I promise.' responded Elliot, realising there was no other way to appease her. He walked back over to the bed before leaning across his side and planting a goodbye peck on Olivia's lips. Before whispering the words, 'I gotta go.' As he went to stand up straight, Olivia pulled his head back down to meet hers for another kiss. Unlike the peck he had gone for, Olivia chose to go with a deep, heated and passionate lock of the lips. She wanted to remember what he tasted like, and she wanted him to remember what he risked losing if his behaviour became any more reckless.

'Be safe,' she said as he walked away from her. Before exiting through her bedroom door he looked back and nodded, confirming that he would try his best, but she knew Elliot had never been good at safe.

* * *

Her alarm sounded. After about an hours sleep, Olivia went through her morning routine, preparing Noah for school while she got herself ready for work. As she brushed her teeth she was reminded of Elliot's bloody clothes had been disregarded in the tub the night before. Without thinking twice she put them in the washing machine and started it. She knew she was almost definitely tampering with evidence, but she had been void of any rational thought since Elliot re-entered her life.

She wasn't sure whether it was the lack of sleep from the night before or the emotional rollercoaster she had been on, but she felt completely drained. No amount of coffee was going to conquer the exhaustion. She drifted through all the necessary motions and before she knew it she was at work. As she made her way through the station to the squad room she was greeted by a barrage of '_good mornings'_ \- while some were returned with a silent smile, most went unacknowledged. Olivia was not ready to face the world yet.

'Where are we at on the Stabler case?' she asked her team as she entered the quad room.

'Well, we talked to the brother, Charlie, yesterday. He might not be in the game, but he knows when to keep his mouth shut - he didn't give us anything. He said he was must've been the victim of a random break-in, and he ensures us hasn't heard from his brother in weeks,' explained Carisi.

'Do we think he's telling the truth?' Asked a sceptical Benson.

'Not a chance,' continued Carisi.

'There's a reason that kid ain't in the family business. He was already starting to sweat from our friendly conversation. If we turn up the heat he'll definitely crack,' added Finn.

'Okay well, let's not waste any time - get him in here.' Olivia was desperately impatient. She needed to know the whereabouts of Tommy Delfino. If she was going to protect Elliot she needed to be one step ahead of everyone else.

'Already on it, Lieu,' confirmed Carisi.

* * *

Olivia made her way to her office to gather her thoughts. She needed some time alone, but as she walked she heard footsteps following her.

'You okay, Liv?' Asked Finn.

'Hm?' she looked at him confused. Clearly, she wasn't hiding her distress as well as she thought.

'I know you should never say this to a lady, but... You look like hell.' He knew something was wrong. Olivia couldn't help but smile at his honesty.

'I didn't get much sleep last night.'

'I figured.' While she could hide her true emotions from a lot of people, Finn knew her better than most. 'If you need to talk...'

'Yeah. Thanks,' she said, cutting him off. She appreciated the sentiment, but she definitely didn't want a shoulder to cry on. She was their lieutenant, she was strong, she was independent, and for all they knew, she was absolutely fine. She couldn't bear to be seen as anything less than fine.

* * *

'I already told you people everything I know.' Protested Charlie.

'Yeah. Here's the thing Charlie, we don't believe you.' Carisi leant in, infringing so much on the young man's personal space that he could feel the detective's words echo in his ear. He and Detective Rollins leant on the table at either side Charlie, surrounding him.

'You're not very good at this are you?' Began Rollins. 'My bet is your brothers did all the talking for you growing up?' She knew as the youngest brother he would have some sort of inferiority complex. He was the only one to choose a legitimate path. He was an outsider to the Delfino's in all but name. She was desperate to exploit that.

'We get it, he's your brother and you want to protect him - but you're not like him, Charlie. You're not like any of them, are you?' Carisi continued down the same line of questioning.

'I know what you're doing. Trying to turn me against my family? It won't work.' Despite his protests, it was clear that Charlie was becoming uncomfortable.

'Maybe not, but something tells me you've got a conscience.' Carisi began to play the good cop. He wanted to be relatable, he wanted to speak to Charlie on a level he would engage with.

'Judging by the state of his girlfriend, we're guessing your brother probably doesn't.' Rollins said as she began placing photos of a bettered Kathleen and the bloody crime scene out on the table. Charlie turned away, as a med student he was used to the blood, but knowing that his brother was responsible for such an act was difficult to stomach.

'Hard to look at, huh?' Carisi continued to empathise.

'A med Student at NYU... I'm sure you've worked very hard to get where you are. It'd be a real shame to lose it all.' Rollins was good at the bad cop routine, something about being threatened by a woman provoked a unique reaction in most men. 'Hey Carisi, did you know that, in the state of New York, you could go to prison for five years for harbouring a fugitive?'

'Five years? Wow, that sure is a long time.' Charlie rolled his eyes as the detectives attempted to scare him.

'Look, I said I didn't know anything and I don't.' While he desperately wanted to be accepted as an equal in the family, he wasn't prepared to jeopardize his entire future to protect his brother. _Why should he be punished for his brother's mistakes?_ He sighed, 'Tommy called me yesterday. He said he was in trouble and needed somewhere to lie low. I told him he could stay at mine, but I had no idea about the girl, I swear. By the time I got home, my place was trashed and he was already gone.'

'So where is he now?' Pushed Rollins.

'I don't know, I swear.' He looked at the detectives, 'Tommy's always in some kind of trouble and it usually catches up with him. He'll show up when the heat dies down. That's how it usually goes.'

Rollins and Carisi left Charlie to stew in the interrogation room. They were almost certain he'd disclosed all the information he knew, but leaving him to sweat couldn't hurt. It was amazing what a little thinking time could do to a person's attitude.

* * *

'We just got confirmation - the blood we found at Charlie's apartment belongs to Tommy Delfino.' Carisi's announcement confirmed what Olivia already suspected.

'Well, we shouldn't have to look far for this guy. The amount of blood I saw at the scene - there's no way he's going anywhere fast.'

_Or going anywhere at all_, Olivia thought to herself. She knew what Elliot was capable of. There had been multiple occasions where she had reeling him in from the edge in the past, but she wasn't with him this time. If anything was going to push him over the edge, it would be protecting his family. She thought back to what Elliot said to her that morning, '_everything is taken care of.' _

Were they still looking for a suspect, or were they looking for a corpse?

Olivia could feel herself slipping into a daydream, she couldn't help her mind wandering. She thought of all the things Elliot could have done to Tommy. What scared her most was that even when considering the worst, she knew she would still do anything to cover for him.

'Chief!' Carisi's surprised voice snapped Olivia back into reality. William Dodds had just walked into the squad room. His unscheduled visit concerned Olivia. _Why was he here?_

'I heard about Stabler's daughter. I just thought I'd check in, see how the case was going. I know some of you know the victim personally...' He looked directly at Olivia as he said it. The squad were surprised by his compassion. Their reaction prompted him to justify himself. 'Elliot Stabler is a friend of the NYPD, and we look after our own.'

Olivia was sceptical at his remark. The NYPD had basically forced her old partner into retirement. The idea of brotherhood in the police force was a nice sentiment, but she was only too aware of the fact that at the end of the day, the NYPD looked out for no one.

'Lieutenant Benson, can I have a word? In private.' Dodds began walking to her office before she could even respond. Olivia followed him to her office before closing the door behind her.

* * *

As Benson made her way to the other side of her desk, Dodds shuffled awkwardly, the way that he did. As he paced, he brought his hand up to his mouth. Clearly, he had a number of things he wanted to voice. It was as though he was trying to word what he was going to say before he said it. 'Your old partner, how's he doing?' Olivia looked at Dodds, stunned by his concern. 'Don't look at me like that, I have a heart… I know how he must be feeling. It wasn't too long ago that it was one of my kids in that hospital bed.'

'He's not great, but he's staying strong for the sake of his family.'

'And you Lieutenant Benson, how are you doing?' Olivia looked at him to suggest his concern was unnecessary. 'I've heard the stories, I know how close you two were. This can't be an easy case for you.' Was he insinuating what she thought he was?

'I'm fine, Chief.' She assured him.

'I heard that your prime suspect seems to have vanished without a trace, and all that remains of him is a pool of blood found in a trashed apartment.' Olivia remained silent, she wanted to know what Dodds was digging for before she gave him anything. 'He has quite a temper, doesn't he? Your old partner, that is.' There it was, the real reason for Dodds' visit. Olivia remained silent, she wasn't going to warrant his fishing expedition with a response.

'I know I don't need to remind you of your duties as an officer of the law, Lieutenant Benson.' Dodds' warning was less than subtle. So much for, '_we look after our own_.' He wasn't concerned about Elliot, or about the case, he was concerned that his Lieutenant was seen to be doing her job.

'I can assure you every lead will be fully investigated, Chief.' She hoped the deceit in her voice would go unnoticed.

'He's not your partner anymore Lieutenant. Your loyalties are to this department, not to him.' Dodds' parting words were like a kick in the teeth. He didn't understand, Elliot was and always would be her partner. She had and always would love him, often more than she loved herself. He was like a drug, she knew of the risks she was taking but somehow she couldn't stop herself. Just like any addict, as time passed, she found herself growing restless.

She needed to see him.

* * *

**This chapter was more for story development than anything else. If you keep reading I promise there are exciting things to come.**

**Feedback and reviews are appreciated as always.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Olivia is desperate to find out the truth behind the lies and secrets that have been exposed by this case, and Elliot seems to be the key. But, how much does Elliot really know and what is he willing to disclose to Olivia? Can she find out the truth in time to protect the one she loves?**

**[Warning: Sexual Content/Smut]**

**Please enjoy, read and review.**

* * *

Olivia returned to the hospital where she hoped to find Elliot. She hoped he hadn't lied to her that morning. She hoped he hadn't used it as an excuse to escape. She hoped that in the hours since she last saw him he had kept himself out of trouble. To her delight, he was there - at his daughter's bedside, but his eyes weren't looking at her. They were looking away from her, and his mouth was moving - clearly, he wasn't alone.

'You're not a cop anymore! I don't have to listen to you!' As Olivia walked closer to the room she heard a voice shouting, but her view was still obstructed by the wall. Who else was in that room?

'I am your father, and you will listen to me!' Elliot yelled, standing from his chair and squaring up to the mystery figure.

As she walked into the room she clashed with a young man hastily making his way out of the door. As they bumped into each other the man looked up and Olivia was met with a familiar face. 'Dickie?'

'Olivia?' He was shocked. The young man was visibly upset and had obviously been crying, it couldn't be easy seeing his sister this way. 'Sorry,' he said before continuing out the door.

She looked over to Elliot who's eyes were just as disturbed as the last time she had seen him.

'Hey, everything okay?' she said as she walked closer to Kathleen's bed. He acknowledged her silently with a nod of the head. She gestured out to the hallway where Dickie stood, waiting for an elevator, 'What was that about?'

As expected, Elliot ignored her.

Olivia attempted to change the subject. 'I can't believe how grown up he is. How's he coping?'

'Same as the rest of us - heartbroken, guilty, trying to figure out why he's not surprised something so unbelievable happened... How we could let it happen.'

She wanted to tell him not to blame himself, but she knew the cliched line wouldn't resonate well. She opted to leave his self-deprecation untouched and change the subject instead. 'Where's Kathy?'

'I sent her home - she'd been here all night.' With that information, Olivia took the seat where Kathy would usually be and sat opposite her old partner.

'Elliot, we need to talk.' She didn't want to be insensitive, but there were pressing questions which needed to be answered.

'I know… And we will, just not here.' Within those four hospital walls, Elliot's only concern was Kathleen. Nothing outside of that room existed when he was at her bedside.

'People are starting to ask a lot of questions and I don't know what to tell them.' Although Olivia heard what he said, she couldn't help but continue talking. She needed to know what was going on. Her patience was quickly running out. The room fell silent.

'Whose blood was on your clothes yesterday Elliot?' She asked softly. Where Elliot failed to respond she continued to elaborate on her concerns. 'They found Tommy's blood at his brother's house…'

'Liv.' He looked at her, stopping her mid-sentence. 'Not here…' He said shaking his head. Elliot stood from his chair and kissed his daughter's forehead before he walked to Liv's side, 'come on, let's find somewhere more private.'

* * *

Having visited the coffee machine, Elliot and Olivia made their way to the stairs. They silently climbed up the floors until there was nowhere left to go, just a door leading to the roof. They opened it and stepped out into their own private sanctuary. Elliot sat on the metal steps which led down from the door and Olivia perched beside him.

Elliot surprised her as he began talking first. 'I wasn't there when she needed me, Liv.'

'It's hard to save the people that don't want to be saved.'

'That's the thing. She asked for my help…' Olivia looked at him confused. 'I found this yesterday.' Elliot took his phone from his pocket. After scrolling through some menus and pushing some buttons, a message began to play: '_Daddy, help! He's gonna kill me... I'm scared... Daddy, please pick up.' _It was Kathleen's desperate voice, begging for her father through endless tears.

'She called me yesterday when we were at the diner. She called me for help and I missed it because I was talking to you. Did you hear how terrified she was? She needed her old man, and I wasn't there.' Elliot paused before looking at Olivia, 'I'm sorry I blamed you. I know this wasn't your fault, this is no one's fault but mine.' His eyes began to water.

'Don't say that. The only person to blame is that scumbag, Delfino.' Olivia said before planting a soft and tender kiss on his lips. 'What happened yesterday, Elliot?'

Elliot ignored her question and instead resumed the kiss where Olivia had paused it. As he did, he leaned them back onto the steps behind them. His hand that was holding her cheek began to drift slowly south until it found itself between her thighs, cupping her crotch. Yet again he was using sex to hide his emotions and avoid the difficult questions. Olivia wished that she was strong enough to resist, but the reality was that she was entirely at his mercy.

'What are you doing, Elliot?' She questioned as he began to undo the top button of her pants. She placed her hand on his and attempted to stop him. In reality, it wasn't a fight at all, her efforts to stop him were half-hearted at best, but she needed to be seen to be doing the right thing.

'Shhh…' He kissed her. 'No more questions.'

His hand entered her underwear and began making her wet, the way it did. As he removed his hand from her underwear, he broke away from their kiss only to replace where his tongue had been with two fingers. Olivia tasted herself on his hands before Elliot sent his hand back down south to continue its work. Elliot moved his body to sit a few steps lower, ensuring Olivia's crotch was at eye level. He pulled her jeans down just enough to expose the black, lacy panties she was wearing. He pulled the crotch of them to one side before diving in with his tongue and tasting her in all her glory.

'Elliot… I know... What you're doing.' She struggled to form words as her body reacted to Elliot's actions.

'Tell me to stop and I will.' He challenged her, briefly coming up for air. He knew that she couldn't stop him, even if she wanted to.

'You can't... Ignore my questions... Forever.' Olivia's breathing became more laboured. Although she was aroused, she was still a little hesitant. While they were alone, their location wasn't exactly private. It was equally exciting and terrifying.

'Just say the word, Liv.' Elliot continued to tease her. She wished she had the conviction.

'If it's not me asking... It'll be someone else... Dodds is all over this case.' She attempted to explain.

'Is that who you're thinking about right now? Is that what does it for you?' He smirked. Before Olivia could answer, Elliot dove his tongue in deeper leaving her lost for words. She threw her head back as she arched her back. The sound of her moaning and heavy breathing encouraged Elliot to move his tongue deeper.

He could tell that she was getting close. When he reached up to hold her breast he could feel her hard nipple through her shirt - he squeezed it. 'Are you still thinking about Dodds?' He couldn't help but tease her.

'Fuck you, Elliot,' were the only words that could escape Olivia's lips between her moans and groans. He laughed in response before quickening his pace. Olivia moved her hand to the back of his head and ran her fingers through his hair before spreading her legs wider and pulling his head in closer to her, giving him deeper access. Her words soon transitioned from _fuck you, Elliot _to 'Fuck me, Elliot.' He hips jerked forward involuntarily as her whole body shook. As she orgasmed, Elliot refused to let her go, maintaining his position with his head between her legs as she struggled not to scream his name.

Once her body stopped quivering, he came up for air. The area around his nose and mouth was visibly soaked. He wiped his lips with his hand before sitting back beside Olivia and placing a light kiss on her. She couldn't believe what had just happened. Minutes ago they were talking about his daughter, who remained in a serious condition just a few floors below, then before she knew it he was sending her body to places only he could take it. Their behaviour unbelievably inappropriate yet she couldn't stop it.

* * *

They sat in silence for a while as they both composed themselves. Olivia waited for her heart rate to return to normal as she did up her pants, ensuring she was presentable again. Meanwhile, Elliot sipped on his coffee and readjusted himself. Seeing Olivia like that had been undeniably sexy, leaving him more than aroused. His jeans had become uncomfortably tight as they harboured the erection he hoped would go away quickly.

'We can't keep doing this.' Elliot looked at Olivia, confused by her statement. 'You can't just use sex to distract me every time I ask a question you don't want to answer,' she continued. Elliot hoped his intentions had been less obvious than that, but he should have known that Olivia was not the type to be manipulated or outsmarted.

'Are you complaining?' He said, smirking. Maybe if he couldn't use sex, he could use humour instead, he thought.

'You know I'm not,' she took his hand in hers. 'But if this is going to work, we have to be more than just sex... You have to be willing to trust me.'

'I do trust you, Olivia,' he said, turning to face her. 'And I love you…. Which is exactly why I can't answer your questions.'

'I don't need your protection, Elliot.' Ironically, she had longed for his protection so many times over the years.

'Look, I know how tough you are, and how strong you are, and how brave you are… I know.' He paused to think before continuing, 'I just don't want you to have to lie for me. So, the less you know, the better.'

Elliot stood up and held out a hand to help Olivia to her feet. She knew she wasn't going to get anything else out of him yet, and while she was desperate to know more, she would settle for knowing that he loved her for now. They walked back inside the building hand in hand until they reached Kathleen's floor where their privacy expired and they switched back to their public roles of Lieutenant Olivia Benson and her _old friend_ retired NYPD detective, Elliot Stabler.

* * *

Having left Elliot at the bedside of his daughter, Olivia made her way back outside to her car. As she sat in the driver's seat, her phone began ringing - it was Finn.

'Benson.' She said as she answered the phone.

'Hey Lieutenant, we've got an interesting development… Remember how officers Riley and Dixon said they saw a young male fleeing when they got to the scene?' Finn inquired.

'Yeah, Tommy Delfino.'

'Except it wasn't.'

'What?' Finn's statement left her confused. What did he mean it wasn't Tommy Delfino? Who else could it have been?

'I guess we were so focussed on Delfino that no one actually got a photo to these guys to ID until now. They're sticking with their descriptions - young male, brown hair average height and build, but both officers confirmed that Tommy Delfino was not the man they saw fleeing the scene.'

'Get a sketch artist to work with them. I'm on my way back now.' Olivia was worried, with any other case they wouldn't have made such an oversight or sloppy mistake. Maybe Dodds was right, maybe she was too close? 'Let's be careful here Finn, we can't afford any more mistakes.'

'Got it, Lieutenant,' he confirmed before hanging up the call.

* * *

**So does anyone have any ideas about what's going on?**

**Reviews are appreciated, as always!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry, it's been so long - I had some writer's block and life became so busy. I really hope that nobody has lost interest in the story. **

**Olivia is finally starting to find out some answers, but will Elliot allow her to get to discover the whole truth? **

* * *

As Olivia drove back to the station she processed all that she knew and pondered all that she didn't. The day before, Kathleen Stabler had been severely beaten and all the signs pointed to her boyfriend, Tommy Delfino, as the culprit. Tommy had beaten her before and had a reputation as a hothead, yet the man seen fleeing the scene was not him. Tommy went to his younger brother Charlie for help but was gone before Charlie returned home _(or so he says)_ and all that remained of him was a pool of blood. As for Elliot, he was silent and brooding which wasn't unusual, but the previous day, he left the hospital, blinded by rage, and reappeared hours later, dishevelled, bruised and covered in blood. The obvious explanation was staring her in the face, but she couldn't bring herself to believe it. She hoped there was something she was missing, but her judgement had become so clouded by all the other complications that re-entered her life the moment that Elliot walked into the squad room.

On her arrival at the station, Olivia was greeted with frustrating news. Neither Officer Riley nor officer Dixon could provide the sketch artist with more than a generic description. Their memories of the man they saw at the scene were inconsistent and incomplete. Maybe if they had seen a sketch artist the day before it would be a different story. Yet again, she questioned her ability to manage this case - mistakes weren't like her, but she'd made plenty already.

'Anything new from the brother?' She asked Finn as she passed his desk.

'Carisi and Rollins have been trying but, they're worried he'll lawyer up if they push too hard,' he replied. 'Are you okay, Liv?'

'I'll be fine.' Olivia closed her eyes and let out a big breath. 'It's just been a lot.' Finn was someone who she was always comfortable to be herself around. His friendship had been one of the most consistent things in her life.

'I get it. And Stabler, how's he doing?'

'It's hard to tell.'

'He's the same closed book he always was, huh?' Olivia and Finn both smiled as they thought about the old days with the original squad. They were good times. After a short pause to reminisce, Finn brought them back down to earth. 'Do you think he's involved in Tommy's disappearance?'

Initially, Olivia shook her head in disagreement, but this was Finn - she didn't need to pretend with him. 'Honestly, I don't know what I think. You and I both know what he's capable of. Especially when his family's involved.'

Finn nodded. The truth was that they both knew what Elliot was capable of, but neither of them was willing to say it out loud.

* * *

There was something peculiar about Charlie Delfino. While he wasn't exactly cooperating with the investigation, and his answers were abrasive at times, it was rare for an individual from a family like his to speak to the cops for this long without a lawyer present. Either he had been well trained on when to keep his mouth shut or he just didn't care anymore.

'I know you said that you told us everything you know about your brother, but the trouble is, we think you know more.' Carisi paused to look into Charlie's eyes hoping to find some truth in them. 'Why don't you tell us about your brother's relationship with Kathleen?'

Charlie's head hung low as he stared at the table, reluctant to answer. It was clear that his mind was at work, pondering what to say next. After a significant delay, he looked up and his mouth opened. 'Is she okay?'

'Not really, Charlie. She's lying unconscious in a hospital bed, and we're pretty sure it was Tommy who put her there.' Amanda had always been good at delivering reality in its coldest, hardest form.

Charlie sighed. He was visibly moved by the news.

'Did your brother ever talk to you about their relationship? Any problems they were having?' Asked Carisi.

'Yeah, all the time. Tommy's really into talking about his feelings,' his reply filled with sarcasm.

'Don't get smart with us' snapped Rollins, chastising him.

'Look, he's my brother, but we're not exactly close. In case you hadn't noticed, we're pretty different. In fact, our last name is about the only thing we have in common. He only ever calls me when he needs something. '

'We get it, Charlie. You're a good guy, not like the rest of them. So, why don't you help us out a little?' Carisi's greatest strength was his compassion and empathy.

'Good old Charlie, huh?' He laughed. 'That's what my brothers always say. _Good old Charlie.._. _You can always count on Charlie... Squeaky clean Charlie.._. They think I'm a joke, and so do you. I'm sick of it. You're right, I'm not like my brothers - and they never let me forget it. Do you know what it was like being a part of that family?'

'Why don't you tell us, Charlie?' Carisi leaned forward, hoping to make himself more approachable.

'Being the youngest brother isn't easy in any family, but in mine it was impossible. My brothers never included me in anything - I was the baby. But one night, they asked me if I wanted to go to the docks with them. They always hung out there but I was never allowed. So, when they invited me I was so excited - of course, I said yes. That was the first time I saw what they were really like... And it made me sick. I never went to the docks again.'

'What happened at the docks, Charlie?'

'When we got there, my brothers had already tied up this stray dog. They put a gun in my hand and told me to shoot it - no reason, just because. When I refused, Tommy started kicking it over and over again. It was squealing in pain. He said either I shot the dog, or he'd kick it to death. So I closed my eyes, held out my shaking hand and pulled the trigger. When I opened my eyes they flooded with tears and I saw Tommy standing over the whimpering dog, laughing. That's when I realised, the gun they gave me wasn't even loaded. It was just a big joke for them. I was ten years old.'

'It sounds like you had it rough.'

'Rough?' Charlie sniggered as he repeated the understatement. 'After all that, Tommy just kicked the dog to death anyway. I couldn't stop crying. I was so desperate to be like them, I even apologized sorry for being such a wuss. I guess Frank and Vinny started to feel bad for me, they ruffled my hair and told me it was okay. But Tommy, he just pulled me aside and said, _Delfino men don't cry and they don't say sorry. You'll always be the runt_. That's just one story. I've got plenty more.'

'What are you trying to tell us, Charlie?' Rollins interjected, still hungry for answers.

'I don't know where my brother is. And if I did, I'd have already told you. My brothers constantly preach about loyalty, but they've never shown me any. I learnt a long time ago that you gotta look out for yourself in this world. I've covered for Tommy more times than I'd like to admit, but never for something like this. Katy's a nice girl - she deserves better. I wish I'd never introduced them.'

'Wait, you introduced Kathleen to Tommy?'

'Not intentionally. I play football with her brother. She would watch our games sometimes and just happened to be there on one of the rare weekends that my brothers decided to show their support. I guess her and Tommy hit it off.' Charlie's feelings of guilt were clear as paused to defend himself, 'I told Dickie my brother was bad news and he tried to warm her, but she was charmed… They always are.'

Watching from the other side of the glass, Olivia began to piece it all together. For the first time, it seemed as though everything was beginning to make sense, but she knew that Elliot was the only one that could provide her with the confirmation and clarity that she needed.

* * *

Olivia sat in her apartment, self-medicating after a long day of both questions and revelations. What started off as a glass of wine was quickly becoming a bottle. Although it was late and she was exhausted, she knew that even if she went to bed she was unlikely to get any sleep. So she sat on her couch drowning her sorrows while secretly hoping that Elliot would make an appearance. As she began to give up hope, a knock came from the door. She peered through the peephole and there he was, leaning on the door frame with his head hanging. As soon as she opened the door, he walked in, uninvited and planted himself on the couch where she had just been sitting.

'Drink?' She asked.

'Sure.'

Olivia returned from her kitchen with a glass of scotch in her hand, passing it to him as she sat beside him. As he took the glass from her hand his fingers grazed her skin. Despite everything, a simple touch like this was still enough to make Olivia shiver, but she promised herself that she would not get distracted by any intimacy this time. Olivia removed a phone from her pocket and placed it on the table.

'Recognise this?'

'Where did you get that?' Elliot couldn't hide his shock.

'After you played me that voicemail this morning, I started thinking... I couldn't remember seeing a cell phone in the evidence log. So I went back to Kathleen's apartment… And there it was, her phone, lodged between the cabinet and the wall - easy to miss unless you were looking for it.' Her decision to take the phone home rather than taking it to the precinct for processing was one that even she couldn't fully explain. It was irresponsible and reckless, but since CSU had missed it, she knew she could get away with it, so gave in to her impulses and put it in her pocket.

'Why are you showing me this, Liv?'

'I've been thinking all day, what would a girl do if she was so frightened and scared... Who would she turn to? Of course, she'd call her father for help, but what if he didn't pick up? What then?' Elliot looked hurt. 'She called her brother didn't she, Elliot? She called Dickie for help. That's who Dixon and Riley saw at the scene, isn't it?'

Elliot looked at her, the way he did... The way he did when he couldn't find the words but didn't need to. The thing is his face said it all.

'Charlie told us that he and Dickie are friends. So my bet is that Dickie knew where to find Tommy. What happened, Elliot? Did he teach him a lesson but take it too far?' Olivia placed a hand on either side of his face and looked at him with pleading eyes, she was desperate to know the truth.' Elliot, you have to tell me what happened. I'm going insane here.'

'Liv, it's not what you think.'

'So, tell me. Please...' She said softly before planting an even softer kiss on his lips.

While her kiss had been tender and comforting, Elliot's response was far from it. As soon as Olivia's lips left his, his mouth followed her - hungry like a wolf. He leant forward, lowering Olivia onto her back and pushing the weight of his body into hers. His hands ran up and down the length of her body, exploring every bump and valley. This is exactly what Olivia wanted to avoid, and although her head was screaming _no, _her moans said nothing but _yes._

'Elliot, wait.'

Olivia refused to let herself succumb to Elliot's distraction tactics again, but the feeling of his ever-growing erection pressing into her crotch was making it increasingly difficult. She placed her hand on his chest and attempted to push him away and create some distance between them, but he was relentless.

'Elliot.' Still, he failed to acknowledge her objections. 'Elliot! Stop!' An increase in her volume, combined with a hard push against his chest finally prompted a reaction. 'Not again. I will not let you do this again!' Olivia protested as Elliot retreated back onto his side of the coach, creating a foot of space between them. Although she wanted him desperately, she wanted answers more.

'I'm sorry, I…' Elliot's heart and voice were full of guilt. He'd often suffered from blind rage, but blind lust was a new experience for him. The idea that he had pressured Olivia into anything against his will disgusted him.

'Either tell me what happened or leave, Elliot.' Olivia looked directly at him, staring straight into his soul. She loved him but right now her thoughts couldn't leave the case. 'We're not doing this again, I won't let you use sex just to hush me again.'

After a long pause, Elliot finally said what she was waiting to hear. 'Okay.'

'Okay?'

'Okay.' Elliot confirmed as he nodded. 'I'll tell you everything.'

* * *

**I hope that chapter was worth the wait. The next chapter will be the big reveal of what actually happened, so stay tuned. **

**Read and review.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Finally, it's time to discover the truth behind Tommy's disappearance. As Elliot uncovers the secrets that he has been keeping, how will Olivia react? Will her worst fears be confirmed, or is something else at play? **

**Please do, enjoy, read and review. ****It's a long one, but I hope you all persist with it - I think it'll be worth the effort if you do! **

* * *

Olivia sat, patiently waiting for the truth behind the lies that she continuously told herself. Beside her Elliot, battled the turmoil he felt inside as he contemplated how to deliver a story that would be nothing but devastating to their newly resurrected partnership.

'Honestly, I don't even know where to start…' He let out a deep breath. 'Yesterday when I left the hospital I was just so angry, but... I guess I don't need to tell you that.' Elliot moved his hand up to Olivia's face and swept her hair to one side allowing him to look directly into her eyes. His hand stayed in contact with the side of her face, cupping her cheek as he said 'I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you yesterday.'

'It's forgotten.' Olivia said as she collected the hand that rested upon her cheek and brought it down to her lips, placing a kiss in his palm. The kiss confirmed to him that she loved him and that everything would be okay. She then turned to face him, sitting legs crossed on the couch, with his hand resting between both of hers. She gave his hand a light squeeze both to encourage him and to tell him that she was ready for what he was about to tell her.

* * *

_**FLASHBACK: LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE TONE**_

Elliot made his way out of the hospital, enraged - although he had shouted at Olivia, she was not the one he was truly angry with. He was angry with himself. He was angry that he couldn't save his daughter. He was angry that he let down his ex-wife. And now, he was angry that he spoke to Olivia the way he did. Once he reached the front door he remembered that his car was still in at the precinct. It was a frustrating inconvenience that he didn't need.

Elliot got in the first cab available and instructed the driver to take him straight to the precinct. Maybe it was better that he was just a passenger for a while. Maybe, after his recent outburst, he needed some quiet time to think by himself. Sitting behind the driver, Elliot pulled his phone out of his pocket and stared at it. The screen showed a series of missed calls from two of his children, Kathleen and Dickie, along with two voicemails. He had noticed these earlier when he called Kathy, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to listen to them at the time. He wasn't sure if it was fear, denial or regret that prevented him from pressing that play button. It was most likely a combination of all three.

_Pull yourself together Stabler_ he thought to himself. With that sentence echoing in his mind, he cautiously pressed play. The first message was from Kathleen: '_Daddy, help! He's gonna kill me... I'm scared... Daddy, please pick up.' _He didn't know it at the time, but this would be the first of many times that Elliot would torture himself by listening to his daughter's hopeless plight.

Before the tears that pooled in his eyes even had a chance to roll down his cheeks, the next message began to play. It was from his son: '_Dad, I'm at Kathleen's. I don't know what to do. I can still feel a pulse, but there's so much blood. What do I do? That scumbag, Tommy, ran out the door the second I got here. I gotta hunt that bastard down, but I can't leave her like this. Shit, there's someone downstairs...' _That was it. The message cut out there.

Elliot's emotions had gone from heartbreak to panic in seconds. He was worried about what his son was capable of. Often when he looked at Dickie, he saw a younger version of himself staring back at him - a kid, with all the anger in the world that rarely knew where to channel it.

_**END FLASHBACK**_

* * *

'It _was _Dickie that Officer Riley chased?' Elliot nodded in response. While Olivia was thrilled to finally be getting answers, the more information she received the more confused she seemed to become. 'I don't get it… Why'd he run?'

'He's my son - protective, impulsive, bloodthirsty.' Both Olivia and Elliot smiled at the remarkable similarities that the father and son duo shared. 'He wanted to go after Tommy, but not as much as he wanted to make sure his sister was safe. Then when he heard the cops downstairs, he knew he'd be leaving her in safe hands. But he also knew there was no way they'd just let him walk outta there. I guess he thought that running was his only option.'

'So, what did you do next?'

* * *

_**FLASHBACK: THE PRODIGAL SON**_

As the taxi pulled up to the precinct, Elliot finally found the courage to press dial and call his son back. _Ringing. _He hoped his call wasn't too late. _Ringing. _He hoped that Dickie hadn't done anything stupid. _Ringing. _He hoped he hadn't failed as a father for the second time that day. Finally a voice: 'Dad?'

'Dickie, I got your message. Where are you?' There was nothing but urgency and concern in Elliot's voice.

'Dad, don't worry about me. I'm fine.' His tone changed as he enquired about his sister. 'Is Kathleen okay?'

'Not really.' He was blunt with his words. Dickie could sense the anger and aggression in his voice. 'She's stable but she hasn't woken up yet. How could you just leave her like that?' Elliot felt like a hypocrite, he had knowingly left his daughter in an equally dangerous situation just hours earlier.

'I heard the cops downstairs - I knew she'd be safe. I had to run - I needed to find Tommy, to make him pay.'

'And..? Did you..? Find him?'

'Not yet, but I'm on it.' Dickie's response provided Elliot with immeasurable relief. 'Charlie's about to meet me, and take me to his. I told him what happened and he said he's done protecting that prick.'

'Listen to me. Whatever you think you're doing - stop it. Do you understand me? Go to the hospital and check on your mother. That is how you help right now. Got it?' He sensed that his son was about to protest, so he made himself clear: 'Do not argue with me kid. Stop what you're doing and check on your family!' Elliot hung up the phone, hoping that his stern words were enough to stop his son's rampage.

While Elliot worried about his son's involvement, he had no problem with going after Tommy himself. If anyone was going to make him pay, it would be him.

_**END FLASHBACK **_

* * *

'So you went after Tommy alone?'

'I'd been to a couple of the boys' football games, sometimes we'd grab a bite after, then I'd drive them back to Charlie's. So I already knew everything I needed.' Olivia became concerned as she saw Elliot's beautiful blue eyes become empty and sinister. 'I knew where that prick would be hiding, so I went to smoke him out.'

Elliot's dark side scared her in a way. While she never felt in danger around him, she often worried about how a man who was so sensitive and compassionate could harbour such darkness inside. For the sake of her own sanity, she attempted to deflect attention away from Elliot. 'And Dickie? He went home?'

'What do you think?' Elliot's expression did a 180, as he let out an understated smile. It was amazing how quickly his dark side could disappear, and be completely overshadowed by even the faintest of smiles. 'Like I said, he's my son. Have you ever known me to do what I'm told?'

'Never.' She couldn't help but let out a small laugh under her breath as he looked at her with his cheeky smirk, tilting his head to one side.

'Well, he's the same. I should've known better.'

* * *

_**FLASHBACK: TRIGGERED**_

Elliot arrived outside Charlie's place. He didn't see the point in knocking, Tommy was unlikely to just open the front door. All knocking it would do was alert Tommy to his presence. He didn't want him to have any warning. He didn't want to give him any chances to run. He knew he had one shot to break down the door, which worried him - he wasn't as young as he used to be. Much to his delight and surprise, Elliot forced his way through the door with a single charge.

And there he was, just sitting there, Tommy Delfino.

The sight of Elliot was enough to trigger immediate panic stations. Tommy rose from his chair and launched himself at the firearm which sat on the coffee table in front of him. Elliot simultaneously did the same. Tommy's young reflexes just beat him to the gun, but Elliot was able to grab Tommy's wrist as he charged him backwards onto the floor, landing on top of him.

Elliot mounted Tommy, with one hand around his neck and the other controlling his hand that was armed. Elliot lifted Tommy's hand that held the gun before slamming it into the hardwood floor. Tommy let out a yelp of pain as his hand opened involuntarily, releasing the gun. Elliot slid the gun behind them towards the door. He had considered grabbing it himself and ending things then and there, but he wanted Tommy to experience more suffering than a swift gunshot would allow.

'You think you can leave my daughter for dead and get away with it you son of a bitch?!' Elliot angrily spat out his words as he raised his free hand before making a fist and allowing it to come raining down on Tommy's already battered face. It wasn't clear what caused Tommy more discomfort, the barrage of strikes met his face or Elliot's tightening grip around his throat.

Tommy struggled to breathe, never mind fight back. He knew he needed to do something soon or he'd be a dead man. He allowed his eyes to wander and search for possibilities. Beside them, about two foot away was a fake fireplace and a completely redundant set of fireplace tools. Tommy knew that if he could just reach one it would be enough to give him a fighting chance.

Just as Elliot thought he could squeeze the life out of Tommy, an unexpected strike met his temple. It was an almighty blow that left him feeling immediately disoriented. He fell to the side and before he could fully understand and process what had just happened, Tommy was on top of him. In just a matter of seconds, their roles had completely reversed and while neither man was operating at full strength by this stage, Elliot was now in a considerably worse condition.

Tommy began to force the metal fire poker into Elliot's throat, crushing his Adam's apple. He began to gargle as his limbs moved erratically, desperate to fight off his attacker.

As Elliot began to lose consciousness, a loud noise brought him back into the room - it was the rudest of awakenings. Suddenly, the pressure was removed from his neck and he gasped a large breathe of fresh air into his struggling lungs. Tommy's body collapsed on top of his, as a damp, warm feeling spread between their chests. Still weak, he rolled Tommy's body off of his own, revealing that the warmth he had felt was blood, but it wasn't his.

Still, in a state of confusion, Elliot allowed his eyes to slowly drift towards the door. And that's when he saw it. His son, standing with a gun in his hand.

_**END FLASHBACK **_

* * *

Olivia sat in silence, avoiding any eye contact. Her stare focussed on Elliot's hand that she held in hers. She continued to run her thumbs back and forth over the back of his hand as she had done for the duration of Elliot's story. She wanted to say something, but she just couldn't find the words.

'Please say something, Liv… Anything…' His voice was needy, not in a whiny way, but a despairing one. He needed her to comfort him, or at the very least confirm that she understood.

She wanted so desperately to speak, but her voice box continued to fail her. She could feel him slipping through her fingertips, but she refused to let that happen. She opted to let go of his hand and pull him in for a hug instead. She held high to her body tightly. Although her words were yet to manifest, she hoped that the gesture would be enough to demonstrate the love she felt for him and the sympathy she felt for his predicament.

Elliot closed his eyes and allowed himself to be nurtured. The moment reminded him of the hug they shared the day that Eli was born. She was the only one who always knew exactly what he needed. As Elliot momentarily allowed himself reminisce, he felt the distance between them grow. Olivia retreated back into her safe space, reclaiming his hand in hers. Her expression was vacant yet decisive, it was clear that she finally knew what to say.

'Full disclosure. That's the only way this works, Elliot.' He nodded, acknowledging that he understood. Then after a slight pause, Olivia found her next set of words; 'Is he dead?'

Now he was the one that was lost for words.

* * *

_**FLASHBACK: THE 'INNOCENT' BYSTANDERS**_

'What the hell did you do!?' Elliot came to his senses in both a literal and metaphorical way. His son's actions made him realise how reckless his choices often were. His daughter was in a hospital bed across town, and now his son may have killed the man put her there. Sure, revenge felt good for a second, but now they were faced with the very harsh reality of a man bleeding out in front of their eyes. What if he died? What if he lived? Elliot struggled to decide which option was worse, neither situation provided any winners.

'I… I… He was gonna kill you!'

'I had it under control,' lied Elliot. He grabbed a cushion from the nearest couch and pressed it to Tommy's chest in an attempt to control the bleeding.

Dickie took a deep breath to steady himself. 'Putting my reservations about that comment to one side for a second. I did what I had to, if not for you then for Kathleen.'

'Yeah, well lucky for you he's still alive.' Though motionless, Elliot could hear that Tommy was still breathing and he could see his eyes switching between looking at his son and him. 'How does a murder charge sound to you right now?'

'It won't come to that.'

'Holy shit.' The figure of Charlie Delfino appeared in the doorway. Less than a minute earlier he had dropped Dickie off outside while he found somewhere to park. If only he'd taken Dickie with him, then maybe events would have unfolded differently. 'You shot him. You actually shot him.'

'Get over here, would ya, kid. You know a lot more about saving lives than I do.' Elliot gestured for Charlie's assistance. The young med student approached his brother's body cautiously. 'Look, I know it must be a shock seeing your brother like this - but you gotta pull yourself together, kid.' Charlie smiled, _pull yourself together _was something his brother had often said to him.

Charlie tentatively lowered himself to the floor at his brother's side. As he took over the role of placing pressure on Tommy's wound, Charlie looked at Elliot and nodded, giving him permission to edge away and give them some space. Initially, Elliot believed Charlie's hesitation stemmed from fear, but on closer inspection, the look in his eyes suggested it stemmed from much more sinister intentions.

'Oh, how the tables have turned, big brother.' Charlie sniggered, as he squeezed his brother's cheeks between his fingers. 'Who's the runt now?' He said, rising back up to his feet and kicking the cushion away, exposing Tommy's bleeding chest.

'Wait, what are you doing?' Panicked Elliot.

Charlie placed his foot on his brother's chest and twisted it from side to side, similar to the motion people made when stamping on a bug or putting out a cigarette. Tommy grimaced and winced in pain. His eyes hosted a look of desperation as blood began to emerge from his mouth - he knew the end was near. 'Let him bleed out. Something's just aren't worth saving.'

Tommy attempted to speak one final time, but any words he attempted manifested as incomprehensible gargles… And then the noise stopped, and so did any movement, and so did any breathing... And then he was gone. His limp body lying in a pool of blood, eyes open, staring directly at his smiling brother who continued to loom over him.

_**END FLASHBACK **_

* * *

'Oh my god.' Olivia whispered. She had no idea how to process the information she just received. She couldn't explain her reaction but her eyes began to well up.

Elliot brought his hand up to her chin and tilted her head up to look at him. 'See, that's the face I've been trying to avoid.' Looking at him triggered a heart-wrenching reality check causing the tears that were building up in her eyes to finally make their way down her cheeks. 'Please don't cry, Liv,' he said wiping away one of her tears with his thumb. He allowed her some time to take a few deep breaths before he interrupted her silence. 'What's going on in there..? What are you thinking..?' His voice, softer than silk.

'I'm just trying to figure out where we go from here,' she said, shaking her head.

'_We_ don't go anywhere, Liv. This is my mess. I don't want you involved.'

His words caused a fire to erupt in Olivia's heart. She was beyond angered by his overly simplistic perspective on the situation. 'I think it's a little late for that, don't you!? I washed the clothes that you were wearing... I stole your daughter's phone from a crime scene... Yesterday, we sat right here, in my home, where my son lives, and I wiped the blood of a dead man from your skin. Dammit, Elliot! I couldn't be more involved if I tried!'

'Shh… Shh…' Elliot attempted to calm her heightened state. 'I know… And I'm sorry.' The word sorry just wasn't big enough to cope with the enormity of this situation. Apologies, while often made with good intentions, could be so empty and futile at times. The two of them sat in silence. Maybe, simply being in each other's company was all the comfort they needed, or maybe, they had just used up all the words they had left? The silence may have lasted minutes or it may have lasted hours - it all felt the same. Eventually, Olivia found the strength to rise from the ashes that Elliot's burning confession had left her sitting in. 'Where are you going?'

'Sometimes it's not about knowing what to say… It's about knowing when to walk away...'

* * *

**So, di****d the events go down the way you expected?**

**And, now that Olivia knows the truth, what will happen to her and Elliot?**

**Let me know what your thoughts are, and as always, reviews are appreciated. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Here it is, Chapter 11. How will Olivia react to what she now knows to be true? Will she be able to balance her loyalties to the job with her love for Elliot?**

**Read & review, as always, please!**

* * *

Olivia dropped Elliot's hand and slowly made her way to her safe space, her sanctuary, her bedroom. With each step, she took a little bit of his heart with her. Although she was only meters away, it felt as though she was now so far out of reach that he may never be able to touch her again - the thought terrified him.

Once in her room, Olivia stood looking at her bed as flashbacks of the previous 48hrs flooded her mind. While her previous decisions seemed reckless at the time, given the information she just received, her past decisions seemed to be nothing less than self-destructive in the present context. Yet, to say she regretted it all would be inaccurate, even with the knowledge that she now had. It was all she ever wanted, but it came with all the wrong timing.

From the couch where he had been abandoned, Elliot's eyes followed Olivia's movements. He continued to watch her through the door which she left slightly ajar. He wanted so desperately to go to her, but the weight of nearly two decades of mistakes kept him firmly in his place. _What are you doing dumbass? _He thought to himself. _You love her, go after her. She may be the queen of running away, but you're the king of confrontation, and if anything is worth fighting for, it's this. It's her. _With those words fresh in his mind, he launched a cautious assault to regain her heart.

Though his mind was focussed, his movements were hesitant and his footsteps were silent as he slipped through the door that Olivia had left open behind her. As quiet as he had been, Olivia immediately felt his presence as he entered the room. After twelve years of partnership, there were some things that just didn't go away and their ability to be in each other's heads was certainly one of them. As Elliot closed the distance between them he was unsure of what to do next - he hadn't thought this far ahead. While he wanted nothing more than to hold her, he feared that his touch would do nothing but push her further away, and so his hand hovered. He held his unsure arm outstretched somewhere between his body and hers; between hurt and comfort; between lust and control. As he moved to retract his hand back to his side, Olivia, without looking, reached behind her and grabbed it and pulled him closer. While she sensed his proximity, his presence alone was not enough to comfort her. She needed to feel him in the flesh. They each closed their eyes and simultaneously let out a deep breath. Although neither of them knew it until that exact moment, this was what they both needed - each other.

Elliot took the opportunity to breathe her in from behind, placing his head in the space between her neck and shoulder while embedding his face in the loose strands of hair that fell by her ear. Meanwhile, Olivia took his hand up to her chest and held it to her bosom. She wanted him to feel her heartbeat. Elliot took this as an invitation to feel much more than that as he allowed her breast to sit perfectly in his palm. Before his hand could get comfortable. Olivia moved it yet again. This time she dragged it further south and placed it between her legs. She clutched his hand there. Previously she hoped he would feel her restless heart, but now she hoped he would feel her burning desire. As Olivia held his hand where she wanted it most, Elliot pressed himself into her from behind.

'Olivia?' Came his voice.

Her body went tense at the sound of his voice. It was ironic, up until the big revelation, all Olivia wanted to do was talk, but now she wanted nothing of the sort. The more they talked, the more real it would become and she wasn't ready for that yet. Elliot sensed her discomfort and so obliged with silence.

With his free hand, Elliot moved Olivia's hair to one side, clearing a path for him. He planted butterfly kisses on her neck. The type of kisses that were so gentle and tender that they tickled her inside. His kisses prompted a certain boldness in Olivia as she moved the hand which rested upon her crotch and guided it into her underwear. Elliot let out a small moan as his fingers became coated in her.

'Do you feel that? Nobody else does that to me. Nobody makes me wet like you do.'

Olivia's words triggered him and so he began to massage her the way she liked it most, in the place she needed it most. She threw her head back so that it rested on Elliot's broad shoulder behind her. Their heads rested cheek to cheek as their bodies swayed slightly from side to side. Olivia could feel a familiar firmness pressing into her from behind.

'Do you feel that… What you do to me?' Reciprocated Elliot with a question of his own.

Being in this situation felt right, yet somehow wrong, all at the same time. She needed to look at him. She needed to remind herself not just of who this man was that was holding her, but also of who **she** was. It had always been this eyes that provided her with the most honest reflection of herself. Maybe that was why she had been so lost without him for all these years. With that, she reluctantly relieved his hand from the work it was doing, removing it from her clothing and placing it on her hip as she turned around.

As soon as she faced him she was confronted with the red markings that decorated his neck. She hadn't noticed the aftermath of his brawl with Tommy until now, or maybe she had and just subconsciously chosen to ignore it. She was an expert at ignoring things after all - her partnership with Elliot had relied on her ability to ignore the obvious. She traced the red markings at the base of his neck with her fingers. Elliot flinched slightly as she touched him, it was an involuntary response that he struggled to understand. Physically, he had nothing to fear. Her touch was gentle, and although he felt vulnerable, he trusted that she wouldn't cause him pain. It was his emotions that truly scared him, the fear that she would realise that he was a mistake, that he was no good, that he was nothing but trouble. That's why he really flinched - he was scared that she was about to push him away.

'I wish I knew what you were thinking,' admitted Elliot.

The reality was that Olivia didn't even know what she was thinking. It was like they had switched roles. Now she was the tight-lipped, closed book and he was the needy one searching for the smallest hint of emotion. The longer Olivia's silence lasted, the more worried Elliot became until she placed her arms around his torso, pulled him in towards her and rested her head on his chest. As she listened to his heartbeat, she realised that in the moments since discovering the truth about Tommy Delfino, she had mistaken lust for love. She, as Elliot had done previously, was attempting to hide behind sex - but she didn't want that cycle to continue. She wasn't looking for intimacy of the body, she was looking for intimacy of the soul - and in that precise second, she found it.

'I love you,' her voice crackled.

Elliot closed his eyes and let out a breath of relief. If he could've physically held her closer, he would've. 'Yunno, that's the first time you've ever said that to me?' He said softly.

_**No, it's not.**_ Was her brain's immediate response, but then she began to think… Although she had felt it for almost two decades… Although she had thought it many times over the past two days… Although she had heard him say it that morning... This was the first time that **she** said it out loud.

'I guess it is,' she confirmed looking up at him.

Her gaze gave him an inexplicable urge to smile. Despite the dark circumstances that brought them together, he was relieved to finally be in her arms in a way he had only dreamt of before. What frightened him was the idea that their solace wouldn't last. How could it? She was a cop first, after all - she always had been. And his son had just committed a murder, which he helped to cover up. This tale would have no happy ending… And with that thought, his smile faded away. She ran her hands up and down his back, attempting to comfort him.

'What are we going to do?' Whispered Elliot.

His voice was so desperate and vulnerable. In that moment, she realised that this was how it was always meant to be. All these years of being alone - the ordeals she had gone through, the tragedies she's faced - they made her strong beyond measure. She didn't need Elliot to protect her. It was the other way around, he needed her. She was the only one who was allowed to see this side of him. She took his hands and guided them over to her bed where she perched on the edge as he stood in front of her. It was time for more answers.

'Where is Tommy, Elliot? What did you do with the body?' She asked, holding his hands in hers, ensuring he couldn't run away.

'You don't need to worry about that. No one will ever find it.'

'You're sure?'

He nodded. 'It's strange… Some of the things the job teaches you.' The room grew silent as they both considered the more sinister aspects of their skill sets that had developed over the years.

'Then we do nothing.' Olivia's words broke the silence in the room and left Elliot with a confused expression. He looked at her, stunned in disbelief at what she had just said. 'No body, no crime.' She coldly reassured him. Her detachment was almost disturbing.

'I can't ask you to lie for me, Liv.'

'And I can't ask you to give up your son.'

'I know what the job means to you. I can't let you risk it all.'

'I won't lie. I just won't say anything.' While her career had been her life for a number of years, it always left a void in her heart. It wasn't until Noah came along that she understood how much she had been missing. And even then, it wasn't until Elliot was in her arms that she realised how incomplete she had still been. 'I'm not the same person you used to know, Elliot. I'm not married to the job like I used to be. I love it, but I'm a mother before anything else now. So if there's anything I can understand, it's the unconditional need you have to protect your son.'

Elliot knelt down in front of her placing a hand on each of her knees. 'The second it looks like there's heat coming your way, you tell them it was me. Do you understand?'

'Elliot, you can't expect me to…' Her sentence was still in progress when Elliot abruptly cut her off.

'You tell them it was me, Olivia. I can't let Dickie take the fall for this, and I won't drag you down with me. I'm thinking about my son, and you gotta think about yours because if this blows up, we're all fucked.' He paused as his mind filled with all the worst possible consequences that his actions could have. 'I don't want you around when they come looking for me… The cops or the Delfinos.' Olivia reluctantly nodded in response. She knew what he was saying made sense, even if she didn't want to agree with him.

'Well, hopefully, it won't come to that.' She brought her hands up to his cheeks and held his face directly in front of her. While she had originally planned to kiss him, she found that she was more than content just to look into those blue eyes. Even with the emotional turmoil that the present situation brought, she was still able to find solace in his stare. The way he looked at her forced a smile across her face.

'So lieutenant, are you gonna kiss me or just keep staring?' Elliot said in jest, although he hoped she would take his invitation seriously. Olivia let out a small snigger. He had always been the one who could provide her with light, even in the darkest of moments.

'I dunno, are you gonna call me lieutenant again?' She said playfully.

Now it was Elliot's turn to snigger. 'I dunno, are you gonna tell me you love me again… Lieutenant?'

With that, she planted her lips on his, before pulling him in for a hug and whispering in his ear: 'I love you, Elliot Stabler.'

For a moment they rested that way, her perched on the edge of the bed, and him kneeling on the floor between her legs. He loved being close to her, and as much as he wanted to stay like that forever, his body had other ideas. He wasn't as young as he used to be, and his knees simply wouldn't cope with the hard floor for much longer. Slowly, he rose to his feet and as he did, Olivia began to lie back on to the bed. His body followed her until there was nowhere left to go. He was on top of her, with his legs between hers, in a position that felt more natural that it should have considering how unfamiliar it was.

As his lips touched hers, he felt himself begin to melt into her as a surge of electricity travelled through his body. She took his breath away yet never felt more alive than when he was with her, touching her, holding her, kissing her… One of his hands rested by her head, supporting his weight as his mouth explored hers. Meanwhile, his other hand rested on her hip, pinning it to the bed. His assertion and dominance made her moan in his mouth. Elliot stood back on his feet only to give himself room to undo her belt and strip her bottom half. Olivia simultaneously reached to grab the bottom of her shirt and pulling it over her head before discarding her bra. Elliot stood over her naked body, knowing it was too much temptation. He didn't have the patience to remove all of his clothes before touching her again. He was desperate to feel her around him… Now.

With that thought, he hastily undid his buckle, unzipped his pants and pulled his waistband down just enough to expose himself before repositioning himself on the bed between her legs. His tip brushed against her causing her to let out a small groan. His lips searched to be reunited with hers as he allowed one of his hands to travel south to test if she was ready. He felt himself crumble as he did so - she was already so wet.

'Mmm… Lieutenant,' were the only words he could manage as he lifted one of her legs over his shoulder and positioned him at her entrance. To his surprise, it was Olivia that forcefully guided him into her, pulling him closer with her free leg. The relief they both felt was incredible. Elliot began to drive in and out of her, but before he could find any sort of rhythm he felt a hand on his chest, pushing him away.

'Elliot wait.' Her voice was a rude awakening from the bliss that he had become lost in. It took all his strength to stop what he was doing. He looked at her, confused and disappointed. 'Did you hear that?' asked Olivia.

In the distance, there was a knocking. Otherwise occupied, Elliot missed it the first time, but this time he heard it loud and clear. He glanced over to the nightstand, where the clock read 23:37. 'A little late for visitors isn't it? Are you expecting anyone?' He questioned.

'No, but whoever it is probably shouldn't see you here.'

'Don't answer it,' he pleaded - puppy dog eyes and all.

Before she could respond, another knock at the door made her decision for her. Elliot could tell by the look on her face that he was fighting a losing battle so proceeded to roll off her, defeated. Olivia sprung up and grabbed her silk robe and rushed to answer the door before the knocking woke Noah up. Before leaving her room she shot Elliot a look. It was one of those looks an owner gives a dog when they want it to stay. As she hastily moved through her apartment to the front door, she pondered who it could be. Before opening the door, she looked through the peephole. _Finn!? What's he doing here? _She thought.

'Sorry, I know it's late, but I saw your light was on... I was in the neighbourhood and I just thought I'd check in. I know it's been a tough couple days.'

'You were in the neighbourhood? Finn, you live on the other side of town.'

'What can I say, I took the scenic route home.' He laughed while she looked at him with an unimpressed smile.

'I thought you could do with a friend.' Finn said as he walked through her door and parked himself on her couch. 'What's going on with you, Liv? This is me you're talking to.' He was an observant, caring man who had always surprised her with his ability to see through the brave face she put on.

There was a part of her that wanted to tell him everything; to confess that she was scared; that she was out of her depth; that she didn't know what she was doing. But, with Elliot in the next room, all she wanted was for Finn to leave as soon as possible. 'Finn, this isn't really a great t…'

'I'm sorry Liv, I didn't realise I was intruding,' interrupted Finn. He blushed slightly as he began to piece the scene together in his head - the two glasses on the table and Olivia's unusually revealing robe were the only hints he needed. He uncomfortably edged himself to the door. 'Sorry. I'll go,' he awkwardly mumbled as he fumbled to open the door.

'It's okay Finn. I appreciate you stopping by,' she said, lightly touching his arm. 'We'll talk tomorrow.'

She waved as he walked away from her door, down the hall. She'd been lucky, but she knew it was only a matter of time before her secrets caught up with her. _We'll talk tomorrow… _If only she had the faintest idea of what she would say. As she went to close the door, an arm wrapped around her midriff. It was the familiar hold of a strong, passionate man who had unfinished business with her. She allowed her robe to fall open as she turned to face him. He pushed the silk material off her shoulders and allowed the robe to fall to the floor. The look on his face told her she wouldn't be getting much sleep that night, but what the hell - she hadn't been sleeping well anyway.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed a fairly easy going chapter - things are about to get a little dramatic for all in the upcoming chapters.**

**Thanks for reading. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry about the wait - but hopefully this is worth it. There's a lot happening in this chapter. Some more intimate moments between Elliot and Olivia (because who doesn't love that!?) Plus, finally there is some progress with Kathleen's condition. And finally, we have the introduction of a new, character that is sure to liven things up while making life incredibly difficult for all that stand in his way.**

**Read and review, please!**

* * *

They slept beside each other in her bed, so peaceful that you'd be forgiven for thinking it had always been this way. Somehow, in the distress and commotion that their previous days had brought, they had found a sense of bliss. In each other's arms, they were able to forget how far from perfect their situation was. The sudden ringing of a phone caused an unforeseen disturbance to their sham tranquillity. Olivia reached for the source of the interruption.

'Leave it,' came a groggy voice from the man beside her. As Olivia's arm neared her nightstand, Elliot pulled her back, refusing to make things easy for her.

'What if it's important?' Olivia couldn't help but laugh. There was something about his morning persona that reminded her of a teenager.

'I'll give you something more important to do,' he said with a smirk.

'Oh, really?'

Instead of using words to answer her questions, Elliot simply slipped beneath the sheets until his head was in a position where he could speak to her other lips. Olivia braced herself for what she knew was coming. Although she was expecting it, the sensation still took her by surprise. For a man who wasn't much of a talker, his mouth certainly possessed other skills. Olivia leant back, allowing herself to relax into the moment, and receive the gift that, let's face it, she had more than earned. As Elliot went from teasing her with his tongue to engulfing her with his mouth, she let out a less than reserved moan. With one hand, Olivia tweaked her exposed nipple, making it harder than it already was. As she did, she let her other hand slip beneath the sheets to find Elliot's head. She ran her fingers through his hair before pushing him deeper between her thighs.

'Oh god…' Her voice was unintentionally slow and sultry. In that moment, those were the only tones that she could manage.

As she began to lose herself in the moment, she heard a faint distraction that slowly brought her back into reality. It was her phone… Again.

'Don't answer it.' The voice from below was defiant and insistent. As the warm air from his mouth touched her in places that she needed to be touched, she almost listened to him - almost... She was still the sensible, level headed one in this partnership, and so she would have to be the responsible one, as usual.

'I can't El. This is the fourth time it's rung,' she said, reaching over to the nightstand where her phone sat.

'Suit yourself.' Elliot was stubborn. When he said _suit yourself _he didn't mean he was backing down. In fact, he meant quite the opposite. When he said _suit yourself _what he really meant was _do what you want, but be damned sure that I'll be doing what I want too. _So, with that conviction, Elliot resumed treating Olivia to her favourite type of breakfast in bed.

'Benson,' she said, more than slightly distracted as she answered the phone.

'Hey, Olivia. Sorry to bother you, I know it's early.'

'Kathy?' The sound of his ex-wife's name gave Elliot a momentary reason to pause. He peered out from under the sheets at his old partner, who was now increasingly nervous. While the situation was uncomfortable for Olivia, Elliot found it all incredibly sexy. With that, he dove back into his favourite place. As his tongue went to work, he could feel Olivia attempting to stop him. He looked up at her expression, she was angry at what he was doing, but she was clearly enjoying it. While her face said _stop, you bastard,_ her body conveyed other messages.

'Have you heard from Elliot at all? I've been trying to reach him but no luck.'

'Elliot? No, I haven't. Not since yesterday.' And, just like that, Liv was lying again. She attempted to control her breathing, as Elliot's true whereabouts remained extremely intimate. Olivia held her breath between words, 'is everything okay?'

'It's great actually. It's Kathleen, she's awake.'

'That _is_ great!' At this point, even Olivia wasn't sure who she was talking to. Kathy's news was certainly great, but so too were Elliot's actions. Clearly, from the way that his pace and intensity changed, he took her words to be directed at him. Olivia shuffled in her position. She knew she was getting close, and there would be no way of hiding it when she climaxed. She needed to get off the phone. 'I'll swing past Elliot's on my way to the hospital and see if he's there? Maybe he'll have more luck answering the door than the phone.'

'Thanks, Olivia. You're a good friend to him.'

'Don't mention it. I'll see you soon.' As soon as the words left her lips, she immediately hung up the phone. Elliot could feel what was about to happen and so placed his hand over Olivia's mouth. Judging from past performances, he knew that being quiet wasn't her strong suit.

Elliot's mouth felt amazing, but she was desperate to see what he was doing and so threw the covers to one side. That's when she noticed that the hand that wasn't covering her mouth had been extremely busy too. He had clearly been stroking himself to the point where he was now rock hard. She was happy to discover she hadn't been the only one enjoying herself this whole time.

Next, confident that she wouldn't make a sound, Elliot pushed his tongue inside her and allowed his nose to brush against her most sensitive area. Tentative at first, he soon began to devour her, and as he did, her whole body shook. As she regained awareness of her surroundings, it was clear from Elliot's groaning and exhausted body that she wasn't the only one to climax. She looked down to discover that he too had lost control of his body, although his release had been a little messier than hers.

'I… Uh… Sorry about your sheets…' He said, coming back to sit beside her.

'You son of a bitch,' she said, shaking her head.

'They're just sheets.' Both his tone and his smirk conveyed nothing but innocence.

'You know I'm not talking about the sheets,' she said, firmly chastising him. 'What the hell was that?'

'Oh, come on, it was just a bit of fun. Don't pretend like you didn't enjoy it,' he said, playfully nudging her with his elbow. He was so boy like at times. 'What did Kathy want anyway?'

'She was looking for you, Elliot. It's Kathleen's. She's awake.'

'She's awake?' He questioned as his eyes began to fill with hope.

'She's awake, El,' confirmed Olivia with the glimmer of a smile on her face.

'She's awake… SHE'S AWAKE!' Elliot's elation was immeasurable as he placed a hand at either side of Olivia's face and pulled her in for a kiss.

'Shh… You'll wake Noah!'

'Sorry. Sorry.' He apologized as he pulled her in for a hug. As she held him, she could feel the restlessness of his heart. She could also feel his deep breaths landing on her shoulder. In a matter of seconds, she had completely forgiven him for his earlier inappropriate behaviour. Only he could charm her this way.

'You should go clean yourself up. I'll call the sitter and see if she can come early and get Noah to school.' As they separated, it was only then that Olivia noticed the tears that had begun to pool in his eyes. As a couple of loose teardrops managed to escape his eyes, she brought her hand up to his cheek to catch them. 'Hey, it's okay. It's going to be okay,' she said as she wiped away his tears.

He shrugged off her comment and removed her hand from his cheek. 'I'm fine… Just a little overwhelmed, I guess,' he protested. The window for him to be emotional and vulnerable disappeared as quickly as it presented. He reverted to what he knew best - he was the stone-faced man with the broad shoulders, who was only capable of feelings on certain occasions, and this was no longer one of them.

* * *

It wasn't long before they arrived at the hospital. Although Kathy and Elliot weren't together anymore, Olivia couldn't help but feel somewhat guilty and uncomfortable in her presence considering how she had been spending her free time in recent days. With that, she entered Kathleen's room nervously where the entire Stabler clan awaited her.

'Look who I found!' She announced as she gestured towards Elliot. She wanted to be the first one to speak, to prompt him, to remind him of their cover story. The idea that anyone would find out where Elliot had really been scared her beyond measure.

'Where have you been? I've been trying to call you,' said Kathy, glaring intensely at her ex-husband.

'I know, I'm sorry. I haven't slept in days - I was out cold.' He hoped his lie was convincing enough to fool his family. 'Even her knocking woke my neighbours before it woke me,' he joked, pointing to Olivia. Between his apology and his humour, surely they wouldn't suspect a thing? Before anyone had a chance to ask any questions, Elliot turned his attention to Kathleen. 'How're you doing, honey?' As the words left his mouth he immediately began moving in for an embrace. He could feel his eyes tearing up as he held her in her arms. His children had always been the most precious things in his life. He often considered them to be the very best part of him and so the idea of losing any one of them was completely debilitating.

With his daughter in his arms, Elliot closed his eyes and reflected on all that mattered to him and all that he could have lost. He must have stayed like that for longer than he realised, as he was snapped back into the room by the sound of his daughter's voice - a sound he had feared he'd never hear again. 'Dad, its okay. I'm okay.' Kathleen's voice reassured him as she brought her hand up to his head, pulling him in and returning the hug. From the way she moved he could tell that she was still far from okay, but he'd settle for being comforted by her comments for now.

Seeing Elliot surrounded by his family, Olivia couldn't help but feel like an outsider, watching from the sidelines. She knew it was silly, that his love was for his children, not his ex, but she still felt like an intruder of sorts. Just as she was about to make her excuses to leave, a familiar man appeared in the doorway, obstructing her exit.

The room fell silent.

He was an older man. His hair was slick, and dark but greying at the sides while his suit was sharp and housed a slight belly. Despite that, you could tell he was the type who had probably been incredibly handsome when he was younger. His stride said he was powerful, his stare said he was serious and his wardrobe said he probably had some money to him. While she recognised him, Olivia couldn't quite place the mysterious figure. However, it was clear from their reactions that everyone else in the room knew exactly who he was.

'Bella. I'm so glad you're awake. I came as soon as I heard,' said the man, looking at Kathleen.

She responded with a polite but uncomfortable smile.

'What the hell are you doing here, Luca?'

_Luca Delfino - that was it _thought Olivia. She had seen his mugshot in the squad room the previous day, but so much had happened since then so she could be forgiven for forgetting.

'Just here to show my support.' His lips curled up at either end, leaving the faintest of smiles on his face. To some, it would seem comforting, but Elliot found it to be nothing but sinister. 'I've always loved your daughter, from the first time I met her. So sweet and respectful. She's a real credit to you.'

'I wish I could say the same about your son,' quipped Elliot.

'Elliot!' Kathy's reaction clearly came from fear as opposed to disagreement. She wasn't angry at Elliot, she was trying to protect him. Something about Luca's demeanour made him an incredibly intimidating man and Kathy didn't want her family to go through any more trouble.

'It's okay. He's right. He should be angry. Hell, I'm angry too. That's why I'm here… To apologize for whatever my son may have done.'

'May have done!?' Elliot struggled to hide his outrage, but a light squeeze of the arm from his daughter reminded him that she didn't need this. She needed him to be calm, level headed, supportive… She didn't need to lose him to rage as had happened too many times in the past.

'I can assure you that he will be dealt with as soon as I track him down. Which leads me to the secondary purpose of my visit. You wouldn't happen to know where my son is, would you, Mr Stabler?'

'I know where he should be.' Elliot's response was met with a look of stern disapproval by Luca.

'What about you Richard? Do you know where I can find Tommaso?' He inquired, raising his eyebrow. Luca Delfino had been in the game long enough to know a weak link when he saw one, and in this case, it was clearly Dickie.

Dickie shuffled his feet while looking at the floor and simply shook his head silently in return.

'I think it's time you leave before I arrest you for witness tampering.' Olivia flashed her badge as she placed her hand on Luca's elbow and began to guide him out of the room. 'I'll walk you out.'

As they moved towards the door, Luca began to sarcastically protest: 'Please, it's just a friendly visit. An escort really isn't necessary.'

'I'll decide what's necessary,' She said as she manhandled him through the door. She looked back at the Stablers as she walked out of the room with Luca by her side, each member of the family possessed the same silent stare that simply communicated a _thank you _to their old family friend_._

* * *

Once she felt like they were a safe distance from Kathleen's room, Olivia turned to look at Luca. 'Yunno, if you're so eager to find your son, maybe you should come down the station and help us with our inquiries?'

'We both know that's not gonna happen.'

'My guys have been trying to get a hold of you, but you're a tough man to pin down.'

'What can I say, the restaurant trade keeps me busy,' he laughed. His tone was every kind of infuriating. He was fully aware that Olivia knew the truth about his profession, but he was also aware that she could do nothing about it. He had built an entire empire on secrets and lies, so despite the fact that everyone knew who he was and what we did, on paper, he was nothing more than a family restaurant owner. He was untouchable.

'Well, fortunately, not everyone in your family is quite so occupied or tight-lipped... Your son's been telling us some interesting stories.'

'Who, Charlie?' Luca laughed at his own suggestion. 'That kid's got nothing to say - he's a sheep in a field of wolves, always has been… Why do you think I haven't sent a lawyer down to your station? It's no coincidence.'

Olivia was shocked by his boldness, his confidence. She refused to be outsmarted by this man, but she knew there was nothing else to be done right now.

'If that's everything, I best get back to my marinara.' He winked as he finished his sentence, the man could not me more patronising if he tried. 'It's been nice talking but just so we're clear, this is the only time I'll be talking to you without my lawyer present.' His parting words were the final sting that confirmed Olivia's belief in his guilt while also reminding her of how difficult this family would be to take down.

As he made his way to the elevator, Olivia was suddenly struck with something obvious she missed. It was a welcomed, yet confusing realisation. Before the doors of the elevator could close, she shouted towards him: 'One last thing, how did you know she was awake? How did you find out so quickly?'

'I have eyes and ears everywhere… Lieutenant Olivia Margaret Benson.'

* * *

**I hope you guys enjoyed that one - feedback is always greatly appreciated. Thanks.**


	13. Chapter 13

**The walls are closing in, questions are being asked and the web of secrets and lies is growing by the minute. How much longer will Olivia and Elliot be able to protect each other for?**

**Read and Review, please.**

* * *

Olivia Margaret Benson. The sound of Luca Delfino saying her name echoed through her head. While Delfino senior was certainly a piece of work, she admired certain qualities about him. In fact, she even saw some similarities between the two of them. Like her, he was clearly meticulous - how else would he know her name? Truthfully, the fact that he'd looked into her at all was actually a mark of great respect. It made it clear that he didn't underestimate her. It made it clear that she posed a threat and that he wanted to know exactly who he was dealing with; what he was up against. The question was, did she know who _**she **_was dealing with; what _**she **_was up against?

'Everything okay?' Elliot asked her, as she re-entered the room. It was clear from the look on her face that it wasn't, but he knew she wouldn't admit that.

'It will be,' she nodded. 'Can I talk to you for a minute?'

'Sure. Excuse us.'

They stepped out into the hallway, and immediately Olivia felt a sense of relief. She was used to putting on a brave face, she did it all the time, but it was exhausting. Even in the few minutes since Luca left, pretending everything was okay had proven to be draining. But, in front of Elliot, in their bubble, she could somewhat be herself. She could be human. She could show emotions. She could breathe again.

'Someone in this hospital's gotta be on his payroll. Either that or he's got someone watching her 24/7. That's the only way he would know to be here this morning,' her thoughts manifested as a stream of consciousness.

'I know. We better be careful what we say around here.'

'Not just around here,' it was at that moment that Olivia's tone and expression revealed the true extent of her worries.

'What do you mean?' Enquired a confused Elliot.

'Kathleen's not the only one he's been watching. He knew my name Elliot - my full name. I haven't even met the man before, and even if we had - Margaret? He's gotta be looking into me. You know I don't scare easy, but what if he saw us together? What if he knows about Tommy? Oh my god, what if he goes after Noah?' The more Olivia voiced her concerns aloud, the more her head seemed to spiral down towards the worst case scenario.

'Hey, hey, relax.' He places a hand on the side of each of her shoulders and gave them a small squeeze. This small act was a reminder that he was there for her as well as a subtle suggestion that she needed to take a couple of deep breaths. ' If he knew anything, he would be doing a lot more than just asking questions, don't you think? We've been careful, the only thing he could have seen is two friends supporting each other through a tough time - that's all. And as for Noah - he won't harm a hair on that boy's head, I promise you that.'

'It's not just us that I'm worried about,' Olivia remarked as she looked through the glass of Kathleen's room at Dickie.

'I'll talk to him. He'll be fine.' Elliot tried to sound certain, but the truth was that he was just as worried about Dickie as she was. He wasn't coping with the situation, and a mere mention of Tommy's name that morning had prompted him to behave strangely. If that was all it took, he knew their secret wouldn't stay secret for long.

'He doesn't seem fine to me. I think we all need to sit down and talk.' With her words, Olivia reminded him that if there was anyone he couldn't fool, it was her. She knew him too well.

Elliot let out a defeated sigh. 'You're right. We shouldn't risk meeting at my place or yours, we don't know where he's got eyes.'

'The diner? After work?' Suggested Olivia.

'It's as good of a place as any.'

'And Charlie? This involves him too.'

'I'll make sure he's there.'

Olivia allowed herself a second to look at him. She was aware that the blissful ignorance she had claimed in the past was rapidly expiring. She was in neck deep, and there was no turning back now - not without losing it all. 'I should go. I'll give Kathleen some time to rest with her family, but she'll have to talk to some of my guys soon.'

He nodded in agreement, he knew the drill. As she began to walk away, he took a quick glance around before grabbing her arm and pulling her into his lips. It was the briefest of kisses. While the coast was clear, he couldn't think of a worse time or place to be caught together. Although the kiss lasted less than a second, it reminded Olivia of what was at stake. 'Look after yourself,' he whispered.

'Yeah,' was the only word she could manage. The kiss had taken her by surprise and left her confused in a way. His family were only metres away, and they had only just finished a conversation about how they needed to be careful, about how they were being watched, about how Luca Delfino had eyes everywhere. It was a kiss she wasn't expecting, but it was one she needed. Sure, it was risky, but honestly, it was a risk she needed him to take.

* * *

Olivia walked into her squad room and was greeted by the usual faces. It was strange how many things had changed since she left work the day before. Maybe strange was the wrong word, maybe frightening was more fitting. She was afraid of her own feelings, she was afraid of drowning in her own lies and she was afraid of what Luca Delfino was capable of.

After allowing herself a moment to gather her thoughts in her office, she poured herself a coffee before making her presence known to her team. 'I finally had the pleasure of meeting Luca Delfino this morning,' she announced as she rejoined her squad.

'What, where?' Questioned Carisi.

'At the hospital. Kathy called to tell me Kathleen was awake. I'd been there less than two minutes when that smug bastard walked in. He already knew she was awake, which probably means that someone in that hospital is on his payroll.'

'So, we better tread carefully,' confirmed Amanda. The whole team nodded in agreement. Luca wasn't the first shady character they'd dealt with. He was an incredibly confident and deceptive man, but the squad at SVU could be equally cunning when required.

'If Kathleen's awake, shouldn't we go talk to her?' Asked Carisi.

'I promised the family I'd give them a little time - a courtesy for some old friends. But maybe you two could slowly start heading up there now?' She said, looking at the detectives.

'Understood. We'll take our time, Lieu.' With that, Carisi and Rollins both grabbed their coats and made their way out of the squad room leaving just Olivia and Finn behind.

As Olivia turned to face her colleague she could almost hear his words before he said them. She knew exactly what was coming.

'Are you ready for that talk, Liv?'

Her head was screaming _NO, absolutely not. _She didn't know what she was going to say, she didn't know what he was going to ask, she didn't know what to do. While her mind was giving her a thousand reasons to make an excuse, for some reason her mouth betrayed her and she felt the word 'Sure,' leave her lips.

Both Finn and Olivia made their way to her office. As they did, she pondered what she would say if confronted with a difficult question. Would she lie? _Could _she lie? Only time would tell.

'I just wanted to check in. I remember how much it hurt you when he left so it can't be easy, suddenly having him around again after all these years. Especially under these circumstances.' Finn planted himself on the couch in her office and Olivia sat down beside him. Ordinarily, she'd hide behind the safety of her desk, but in this context, it seemed too formal, Finn was more than a colleague, after all, he was a friend.

'It's been a whirlwind, to say the least.' Olivia momentarily put her head in her hands as her recent emotional rollercoaster flashed through her head. 'I think I've felt every emotion possible since he walked back in here that day.'

'I bet.' Finn placed a supportive hand on her back. 'Look Liv, I'm sorry to do this to you, but… You're talking to me now, not the others. Elliot… You and I both know what he's capable of. I'd be lying if I didn't say his name was the first to cross my mind when we found out that blood belonged to Tommy. I know it's difficult, but you and I both know how this goes down if we don't start looking into him soon… It'll look like a cover-up, and then we'll all be fucked.'

'I know. But, it's Elliot.'

'I get it. Believe me, I do. I just don't want you to get yourself into trouble.'

If only he knew how much trouble she was already in. She was compromising every value she had and everything she had worked for. And the only explanation she could give was love. She loved him, and come what may, she was going to protect him.

'You don't have to worry about me, Whatever happened to Tommy, I know in my heart of hearts that Elliot wasn't responsible.' In was unbelievable how easily lies came to her these days. Flawlessly, she used a technical loophole to ease the guilt that stemmed from her false pretences. _Elliot wasn't responsible,_ she thought, _he was just involved. This wasn't his fault._

'You know I trust your instincts, Liv. Sometimes more than my own. But, I can't help thinking that your judgement is a little clouded on this one.' Finn was careful not to sound accusatory, he was concerned, but he didn't want to overstep.

'If I have to act I will, Finn. I just don't want to start asking difficult questions until I absolutely have to… Until there's no other choice.'

'The last resort,' Finn said, suggesting he both understood and supported Olivia's logic. He could tell she needed space so stood and began making his way to the door. As he took hold of the handle, he hesitated before opening the door. 'One last thing, I know it's none of my business, but I gotta ask. Last night, in your apartment… I'm not judging, I know there's a lot of history there and him and Kathy are divorced now, so if it was him…'

'Please don't ask me that Finn,' she wasn't ready to admit to anything - but in reality, the expression on her face was the only answer Finn needed.

* * *

Elliot sat with his son beside him as they waited for Charlie to arrive. As far as Dickie was concerned, that was the only person they were expecting. Previously, Olivia had suggested that warning the boys of her involvement might cause more harm than good. Instead, she would just turn up and hope that they didn't see her presence as an ambush, or Elliot's confession to her as a betrayal.

'What's going on Mr Stabler?' Tommy inquired, as he took a seat across the booth from Elliot in the empty space beside Dickie.

'Now that Kathleen's awake, I think it's about time that the three of us to discuss a few things, don't you?'

Dickie and Charlie nodded.

'Look, fellas, if the truth comes out, we're all guilty of something - so we need to work together here.' Their silence persisted, but they continued to nod in acknowledgement. Although they were both young men, in Elliot's presence they were more like boys. They each reverted to a childlike state, hanging their heads and avoiding eye contact as though they were about to be sent to their rooms. As the three men sat at their table, a familiar figure approached.

'Olivia? What is this?' Dickie's tone was confused and defensive.

'Relax, she's here to help.' Elliot could tell from his son's expression that his reassurance would fall on deaf ears.

'Wait, you told her!?' Dickie's tone moved from confusion to outrage.

Elliot said nothing, but his silence was the only response they needed.

'You can't be serious, I thought he'd be the one to crack first. It wasn't even on my radar to worry about you.' Although Charlie was considerably cleaner than his brothers, his upbringing meant he still harboured a fear of cops.

'Look, we've discussed it and I'm not going to say anything.' Olivia explained as she sat down beside her old partner.

'No way! You're a cop, what's to say this isn't a set up right now!?' It was clear from his behaviour that Charlie was incredibly uneasy. If there was one thing he had learnt while growing up it was that, while you can never trust a criminal, you can never trust a cop either.

'I'm with him on this one,' offered Dickie, in support. 'I've known you my whole life, Olivia. You've never been one to turn your back on the law - what's changed?'

Neither Elliot nor Olivia had been prepared for a question like that. It was naive and foolish of them not to be. They both awkwardly looked at the table hoping the other would provide a believable explanation or excuse, but they took too long. It was over. They were outed.

'Oh, you've gotta be kidding me! How predictable.' Dickie shook his head, as he laughed sarcastically.

'Am I missing something here?' Asked Charlie, late to the party. Without the background knowledge the others had, it was difficult for him to understand exactly what was going on.

'They're screwing.' His son's blunt announcement knocked the wind out of Elliot.

'Dickie…' He hoped he could somehow justify or excuse his actions, but all he could say was his son's name before he was cut off.

'You're pathetic. She gets you into bed and what, suddenly you're an open book? Or have you two been screwing this whole time? Is that it, did you just run out of pillow talk after all these years, dad?'

'It's not like that,' protested Elliot.

'No!? Then how is it? Because from where I'm sitting, it looks like she opened her legs and you opened your big mouth in return.' As soon as he finished his sentence, Dickie knew he had gone too far - there would be consequences for his comment.

'You watch your Goddamn mouth, kid!' Elliot launched himself across the table and grabbed his son by the collar. It wasn't the first time that Dickie had triggered such threatening behaviour, and it was unlikely to be the last. Each of them had a personality that was so strong and similar that the occasional head-on collision was inevitable.

'Elliot!' Olivia intervened, placing a hand on his chest and pushing him back. This was not the place for a confrontation, they were in public after all. 'We all need to calm down here.'

All four of them sat back and took a moment to breathe and compose themselves. As they each processed their own emotions, the tension began to subside.

'Look, the reason we're here is that we all have a secret to protect and after this morning, I'd say the cops are the least of our worries,' began Elliot. 'Your old man is sniffing around and asking questions,' he said, looking at Charlie. 'And if you freeze the way you did when he spoke to you this morning, it's only a matter of time before he figures out exactly what happened,' he continued, now turning his attention to his son.

'He's right, my old man can smell weakness. You gotta keep your cool man.'

'I can do better,' Dickie agreed. He knew they were both right. He'd been caught off guard that morning, but he'd be prepared to handle things from now on. He wouldn't be the one to sink the ship. 'I _will _do better. So, we're covered for when he asks questions, but how do we get him to stop digging?'

'I can feed him a line - get him off the scent,' offered Charlie. 'I'll say you came round, roughed me up a little, demanding to know where Tommy was.'

'That could work, for now at least,' responded Olivia.

'How are things at the station? How much time do we have there?'

'It's hard to say. More people are asking more questions... I can only hold them off for so long,' Olivia wanted to mention her conversation with Finn but this wasn't the right audience. That would be a conversation her and Elliot had in private. The four individuals sat in silence as they contemplated the fact that the world was closing in on them.

After what felt like minutes, but in reality was only seconds, a sense of commanding guidance manifested from an unlikely source - Dickie.

'I have an idea.'

* * *

**Does anyone have any ideas of where they think this is going? **

**Will their secrets stay secret forever, or are they just about to lose it all?**


End file.
